Too true innit.

And the thing is, it's no good the Beeb telling *us* that they need more 'copters, it's not as if the average bloke on the street has a spare, one's expensive enough, 2 is just showing off!!

PS Hiya Gee! I'm in Devon with my lovely pretend gay husband so sorry if you've sent me any mail!

I didn't see you type that message!

I must have been doing something else.

yes you were, you were eating maaaash and m*st*rb*t*ng frantically!! Very erotic it was too!

But I waited until you went before I started to, you know...do that.

*lmao*

spent all yesterday in your bed with Mr Palm and his 5 lovely sons eh???

Three times no less!

that's a *little* more than i needed to know my sweet!

No, it isn't, it *isn't*!

no, really. it is!! but because its you, and i love you so much (!) i'll let you off!

Yay!

I shall write a book about it then!

ooh, watcha gonna call it?
can i write the foreword?
will there be a piccy of some finches?
will it be purpur?
ooOOOooooohhh!!

Yes.....to all your questions!

It will be called 'Big Manc-me-do Scum Slut 56!'

Ace! Will it be put on a rickety shelf under a flight of stairs in a dark corner of a city bookstore?

Oh yes, in fact it may even be in the cellar or something.

surrounded by man-traps and poisonous spyders?

Yep, and dead bodies and sacks of pig trotters.

venus flytraps and dead pigeons?

Horse eyes and scrotum contents.

big vampire bats and piles of vomit?

Minge flaps and man pubes.

*hysterical*

Snap out of it!

You have children in the house.

not now.

i killed them

Where did you put the bodies, my wife?

i ate them with some fava beans and a nice chianti!

<shakes head>

Tsk, lesbians! Everyone knows it's Pepsi with dead bodies!

Pepsi/Apple Tango and mashings??

*shakes head*

i dunno, in a minute you'll be suggesting summat ridic like red laces for dessert!

Prrfff, as if!!

bring 'em onnnnn!! i'm gonna crochet mine!

I'm gonna make mine into an attractive pyramid and sphinx arrangement!

you're like a gay Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen!

Please don't talk about him.

*huggle*

yes, he is very scary isn't he!

mummymummymakeitstooooooop!!

It's not so much scary as annoying.

on the list then?

You got it.

Man, this list is 5.9 billion long!

Oooh...

"Up to 6 billion dead people"

now *that's* what i call an ad campaign!

"Why not die togetherrrrr?"

"We all want to die..."

Well.....everyone who bought a Deadcat does!

Especially now they're selling less than a 1000 a week!

DeadCat TR-5000 copies!!
*snigger*

Deadcat TR forcast - 30,000 copies!

<snigger>

Really??

AAAAAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!

'Why not fail togetherrrrrrrrrrr?'

Yes, really!

Now Eidos are saying "Oh, Lara is still as popular as ever, it's just that people aren't buying games because of the new consoles around the corner".

Try telling that to the 600,000 people who have bought Pokemon, Eidos!!

<pokes Eidos in the eye>

<slaps Eidos' features off>

Y'know why no-one bought Deadcat TR? Cos that fucking advert is frightful!

(Sung to to the tune of 'I am evil Homer')

#Lara is a tranny, Lara is a tranny!!#

She is s'butch
She is s'butch
B U C H
I mean, B U T C H!

She's got a hairy man crack!

And she smokes a pipe!

And wears a flat cap!

and molests badgers!

And eats black pudding!

And plays Mahjjong!

And fondles her testicles!

And sucks squirrels!

And she loves running her hand through her beard.

and stretching her foreskin!

And fingering her hairy arse!

and tweaking her man-nipples!

And getting a tiger to nibble her scrotum!

And using finches to stimuate her cavernous ass!

Then running her hairy fingers along her throbbing wet end!

Oh this is getting waaaaay too detailed!

Weakling!

HAHAHAH, me a weakling?? *hysterical*

We'll see who's weak after you collapse in a quivering heap on Wednesday!
*fills holdall with cement*

I'll just not bother carrying it!