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by
GRAHAM CHAPMAN
BERNARD McKENNA
DOUGLAS ADAMS

RECORDED: SUNDAY, 19th OCTOBER 1975
TX: 10th JANUARY 1976

Out Of The Trees eh? Look, has anybody out there actually seen it? We’ve all heard the stories – Graham Chapman and Douglas Adams, following their collaborative work on the fourth and final Monty Python TV series, team up with ubiquitous freelancer Bernard McKenna and write a comedy show - ostensibly a pilot for a TV series, but which is only shown once (unpublicised, opposite Match of the Day), and dies a death.

But the show has reached a sort of mythical status among fans of both Python and The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, mainly through word of mouth or badly-researched biogs or ‘companions’.  All of these are quick to bring its existence to our attention but a little reading between the lines soon proves that none of the biographers  have actually watched the thing. Robert Ross’ Python Encyclopaedia entry is little more than a sly uncredited rewrite of Kim ‘Howard’ Johnson’s effort, itself based on little more than a brief Adams-interview and a lot of guess-work. Lewihson's Guide To TV Comedy adds little by claiming that 'the general consensus was that the show lacked cohesion'.

So what was Out Of The Trees? It was a comedy sketch show starring Graham Chapman and a team of semi-unknowns including Simon Jones and Mark Wing-Davey (later to play Arthur Dent and Zaphod Beeblebrox in Hitch Hiker's ) along with Roger Brierly, Tim Preece, Maggie Henderson, Jennifer Guy, Maria Aitkin and Marjie Lawrence. Sub-titled ‘The End of the Road Show’ , it was recorded in October 1975 and broadcast only once, at 10pm on January 1976.  And if the show itself lives up to the script then we have a lost classic here, guys.


KEMP (CHAPMAN)
Television, that’s interesting.

MICHAEL (BRIERLY)
Well, yes it has its moments.

KEMP
No, I mean the word, it’s hybrid you know.

MICHAEL
Is it?

KEMP
Yes, 'tele' comes from the Greek and 'vision' from the Latin. It should have been 'telerama' or 'proculvision'. Well yes, I can see why they did it.

MICHAEL
A bastard.

(KEMP SUDDENLY GRABS MICHAEL EDWARDS BY THE THROAT)

MICHAEL
Ouch! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you were a bastard – I meant the word…

KEMP
Bastard? Oh, I see, I’m sorry, I thought you called me a buzzard.

MICHAEL
A buzzard?

KEMP
Yes you see a buzzard is a rather useless kind of hawk.

MICHAEL
Oh really? I can see I’m going to enjoy this.


Like yer Python, there’s a fair bit of dry post-modernism at foot – two of the main characters are a voice-over artiste and a links man (Brierly and Chapman respectively) who meet on a train. Their vocations seemingly manage to hold the show (which they acknowledge as existing) together. This obviously open linking device takes us to the sketches which include a dramatic adventure about Ghengis Khan becoming jaded with the tedium of raping and pillaging (which appears to change en route into a documentary); a looks-like-it-was-rejected-from-Python skit which sends up parliamentary procedure in a cabinet meeting (the MPs are obligated to address the chair and use the word ‘draconian’ in every speech (followed by a quip) - even if, as in this case, they are simply warning the others about the building being on fire) and a great sketch in which a young couple are harrassed by some over-zealous coppers for picking a peony which sets off a chain reaction and escalates radidly towards the destruction of the world.


M.P.
There’s a fire and I suggest that as Members of the Government and firemen it is our duty to take immediate action…

CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER (AND CHIEF FIRE OFFICER) (SIMON JONES)
Prime Minister and Chief Officer, may I say gerrymandering and with draconian emphasis that my mother-in-law’s got a face like a million dollars (HE DONS A FEZ) – a large S with two lines going down it – just like that, and also that none of the previous speakers have included any literary allusions, and that puts me in mind of the late G.J. Whyte-Melville, who wrote in ‘Drink, Puppy, Drink’… ‘Drink, puppy, drink, and let every puppy drink’.


Other characters on the train include a bicycle-obsessed scoutmaster who’s obviously bored an American couple into a coma with his bletherings, a rude and incompetant waiter (featuring some great exchanges which follow the ‘failure to communicate’ idea typical of a lot of Series 4 Python sketches); and two pepperpot-like women (albeit played for once by female actors - Aitkin and Lawrence) who bicker and boast about their husbands in a way which isn’t a hundred of your Earth-miles away from those two characters out of The League Of Gentlemen. Does Mark Gatiss have a copy of Out Of The Trees hidden under his mattress along with all the other sci-fi-related stuff missing from the BBC archives?


MRS. TWO
(PROUDLY) I expect that fire was started by one of my husband’s two secretaries.

MRS. ONE
Oh, my husband’s eight secretaries are always burning his offices down – the place is a constant inferno.

MRS. TWO
My husband’s twelve secretaries…

MRS. ONE
You said he had two secretaries.

MRS. TWO
Ah yes, two that burn the place down, but the other ten are so obsessed with setting fire to things that he doesn’t even allow them to come into the office.

(PAUSE)

MRS. ONE
What do they do then?

MRS. TWO
Er… (SLIGHTLY LOST FOR REPLY) Ah, well, I think (BIT OF A BRAG HERE) he might go to bed with some of them.

MRS. ONE
Oh! My husband goes to bed with all his secretaries.

MRS. TWO
What, just the eight.

MRS. ONE
Oh no, he has a team of twenty three different secretaries for going to bed with every night.

MRS. TWO
What? Just at night? Oh, my husband has his twelve secretaries before he’s even put spoon to grapefruit – during the day he has fifty-two other people’s secretaries – and I’ve never even seen him at night…

MRS. ONE
Oh you mean – he’s unfaithful then…?

MRS. TWO
Er… so yours isn’t then…?

MRS. ONE
Unfaithful!!!!!

MRS. TWO
Is he?

MRS. ONE
My husband is so unfaithful I haven’t even seen him for five years.

MRS. TWO
Oh! I haven’t even seen mine since the day we were married.

MRS. ONE
Mine didn’t even turn up for the wedding.

MRS. TWO
I haven’t even been to bed with my husband…

MRS. ONE
I haven’t even met my husband.

MRS. TWO
My husband doesn’t even exist.

MRS. ONE
(PUTTING HER HAND ON MRS. TWO’S HAND) Never mind dear you’ve got me…

MRS. TWO
Oh, Trish, you’re such a comfort…


Bits of the show have found their way into other projects – a brief clip of the ‘Peony’ sketch was inserted into the Making Of Hitch-Hiker video simply to illustrate that Adams had worked with Simon Jones before. Mark Wing-Davey’s involvement in the show wasn't alluded to (save for in a blipvert info-burst biog) and the inclusion of the clips shown didn’t by any means prove that Out Of The Trees has survived (‘Peony’ is one of the pre-filmed sketches and as such may have only survived as film stock - the clip, after all, does not have a laugh-track, a requirement the BBC would almost certainly have insisted upon at this time. On the other hand, said clip may only have been chosen in the first place because it ends with the destruction of the Earth, a la Hitch Hikers).

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The ‘Peony’ incident is also told, as an apocryphal anecdote, in Graham Chapman’s fantastic A Liar’s Autobiography - co-written by Adams, among others.  The innocent Peony-pickers in the anecdote are Chapman and boyfriend David Sherlock.

The ‘Ghengis Khan’ sketch was reworked as a short story called 'The Private Life Of Ghengis Khan' (credited as 'based on an original sketch by Douglas Adams and Graham Chapman' and illustrated by Michael Foreman) for the 1986 Utterly Utterly Merry Comic Relief Christmas Book which Adams edited.  The text stays very faithful to the original version but adds the twist of having Khan visited by Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged (from Adams' Life The Universe And Everything) which presumably proved a tad confusing to anybody not au fait with the Hitch Hiker books.

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The joke about a brutal historical figure growing tired and disgusted with rape was also re-used as the opening - and only vaguely funny - scene in the Terry Jones-penned 1989 film Erik The Viking.  A vague link, until you realise that Michael Foreman also illustrated the original Erik books, and both Erik The Viking and Out Of The Trees boasted music by Neil Innes.

Out Of The Trees was described by Adams on the Making Of Hitch Hiker video as ‘only semi -brilliant’. Whether this was down to performance or production values is open to question (until someone can confirm whether or not the thing still exists and furnishes us with a copy) but the script is marvellous. There’s a pure old-school BBC2 atmosphere to the work (which wouldn’t look out of place among Series 4 Python), and the fact that a full series was never developed - probably due in part to Chapman’s alcoholism, although that’s often used as a scapegoat for a lot of BBC idiocy so we’ll halt that theory RIGHT NOW - is a great shame.

[Enormous thanks to Jason Hazeley.  Nothing but contempt and head-shakes for Jim Yoakum.  Much love going out to everyone on the forum who argued so eloquently as the curly-haired Yank and his various dopplegangers attempted to fuck over your enjoyment of the script armed with tedium...]


NOTES:
Douglas Adams, interviewed in David Morgan's excellent Monty Python Speaks (Fourth Estate 1999) is uncharacteristically hazy in his reminiscences, but intimates that although only one show got made, maybe three full scripts were written.  He added that Out Of The Trees was probably too similar in style to Python (though why this should necessarily be a problem is unclear to us).

Jim Yoakum's The (Non-Inflatable) Monty Python TV Companion (Dowling Press 1999) requotes a few old biogs in a short section given over to Adams/Python crossovers.  He mentions that the never-filmed second show included an Adams sketch about a haddock being accepted at Eton and that Chapman's adopted son John Tomiczek claimed that Adams nicked it from rejected Python material.  There were also some rumblings from (the now late) Mr Tomiczek that Adams originally co-wrote the Hitch-Hikers Golgafrincham B-Ark material in collaboration with Chapman (for The Ringo Starr Show - another mythical project which didn't get further than script stage) but never credited his input.

The Official Hitch-Hiker Companion has some very interesting bits about Out Of the Trees but unfortunately we can't find it at the moment.

[Just found it.  Nothing too interestng as it turned out.  Just the usual meanderings subsequently ripped off by Ross, Johnson, Yoakum, etc.  Thieves, robbery, etc...]

Out Of The Trees has apparently been wiped.  The clips on the Making Of Hitch Hikers video were culled from 'whatever extant material remained'.  So, just the celluloid stuff then.  Nevertheless, if anybody out there does know the whereabouts of a full copy then please let us know.

Jim Yoakum - a lasting testament


© 2000 - 2001 some of the corpses are amusing