Welcome to the first annual Comedy Tumbleweed Awards, as voted for by readers of Cook'd & Bomb'd

Created as an antidote to the increasingly pathetic British Comedy Awards, the Tumbleweeds set out to draw attention towards everything that is painful about the comedy industry.

The nominations were compiled by readers of the Cook'd and Bomb'd Comedy Chat forum and counted up by Neil and Lalla Ward to create a final nominations list. This was then posted on the main Cook'd and Bomb'd site, and what you see here are the results of four weeks of voting. The quotes accompanying each award were either emailed into the site, or lifted from original forum discussions.

Many thanks to everyone who took part in the nominations and voting, and a special thanks to Alan Strang and Emergency Lalla Ward Ten for the incredible amount of work they put into this awards ceremony.

So, the stars arrive. the production crews are already half-drunk, Ricky Gervais is already patronising the physically handicapped with his genius spazzy jokes and Jonathan Ross's autocue is filled to the brim with the best jokes about David Walliams' sexuality that today's comedy hacks can write.

In the meantime, let's have some fun.