It’s going really well. Everyone who’s come to a Time Gentlemen Please recording says we’ve got something special. Although, of course, it is notoriously difficult to judge a sitcom on its first 358 episodes. But time (gentlemen please) will tell!

Well, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what we’ve come up with. Time Gentlemen Please is definitely the best work I’ve ever done. Even if I do say so myself! Which I do!

The characters are very well worked out, and there’s some really cutting edge gags in there - jokes about the Kennedy assassination (sorry if that’s a bit sick!), and people having small cocks. But it’s dead subtle too - for example, in the episode ‘Al Murray’s Character Is Gay’, it is revealed that Al Murray’s character is, in fact, gay. For extra subtlety, he only says ‘My character is gay’ eleven times. I think this shows my writing is a lot more maturer than it used to be in the old days beforehand.

Sometimes I just stare at my computer screen in disbelief - I can’t believe that I, Richard Herring, have created something like Time Gentlemen Please. Often, I just look at all the money the Murdoch empire has given me, and roll around in it naked while pissing on old cassettes of Lionel Nimrod. And then I buy the Spinal Tap DVD, which - in my own opinion - is the best comedy film ever made. The funniest thing about it is their hair.

Come on, guys - I think you’ve been watching comedy too long (or perhaps I have been!). I really think Time Gentlemen Please is the best thing ever written, like The Bible and Dickens and things like that. Also, I think you have to be quite entellyjunt to understand why the characters are funny - that’s why we explain it all to the audience all the time.

Well, I think the show’s will look better once there edittttttttttttted. Nice! Anyway, time (gentlemen please) for me to go. I’ll hand you over to Al now...

Thanks, Rich. This week I’m mad about sycophants. And the problem with sycophants is that they originated in France/Germany/Italy/Denmark/Wales (delete as appropriate and do pretend ad libs - I haven’t thought of anything for Pakistan or countries like that though, obviously, I’m not stupid).

But like most of yer celebrities, I spend my days surrounded by people who keep telling me I’m brilliant. Because that’s the way it is. IT’S THE WAY IT IS. Yeah? But we have to KNOCK things, don’t we eh? We all have to knock things. And I haven’t built up an entire career based on doing Angus Deayton’s old Radio Active material in a shouty RADA voice with a great big grin on my face to have some nerds off the internet tell me to go and stuff it. So I surround myself with yes men, because they’re COMFORTING aren’t they eh? They’re comforting. Eh?! And also, it means I can be a bit shit without realising.

Anyway, the point is, the world would be a much better place if everyone just buckled down and admitted I was great. It would make my job easier as a comedian and your job easier as the ple...I mean, the audience. That’s why we have comedy agents like the Avalon, innit eh? So they can do the thinking for you. ’Cos the trouble with thinking, y’see, is that it originated in France/Germany/Italy/Denmark/Wales (delete as appropriate, but do a different country this time. And repeat each sentence three times so it lasts the full two hours).

Right, that’s enough genius. Please take your brains back to the bar. Thank you.