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- ADAM BROMLEY
Are
you local? This is a local official BBC website for local official BBC website fans. This really is me, I promise. Well, they do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so maybe I should be flattered! But flattery will get you nowhere! Anyway, on with the fun.
Q. Dear
Danny, I've just been
to see a fantastic up-and-coming stand-up called Ross Noble.
I gather he very nearly won the Perrier Award last year. Can you talk about him a lot on your official BBC site, creating a false economy of interest and then fix it for him to win the thing this year so we can push him forward as the new 'big thing' and make an absolute killing in the little girl market?
Q. Dear
Danny, I run the official Ross Noble fansite and I
also
would like to see him win the Perrier this year. It would make me feel so important.
Q. Dear Danny, I've
never seen Ross Noble perform but I gather he's very
good. Danny replies: Well it's comments like that
which just give
comedy appreciation a bad name, in my humble
view. Why do you have to be so negative? In
this day and age it's much more difficult to nice or encouraging about comedy. Clear off, I say, and take your dangerous opinions with you.
Yes, and I’m pretty miffed this week. It appears a so-called ‘website’ (I wonder where they got THAT idea from?) called Some Of The Corpses Are Amusing (yes, very ‘clever’, I must say) have been running a humorous parody of my column. Now I wouldn’t mind if it was an affectionate spoof in the style of the award-anticipating Radio 4 smash Dead Ringers, but oh no. No, it’s a nasty, personal attack which has upset me greatly. They paint me as a self-serving yes-man who always tows the BBC party line in case I lose my job. Someone who knows nothing about comedy but instead just unquestioningly copies things off press releases and then says ‘watch this space’ at the end rather than adding something constructive and useful. And they say I always mention being in pubs, like I’m insecure about my public image or something. I mean!
I’m also concerned about all these pretend Danny Wallaces that have been posting messages to forums. I am the true Danny Wallace, as any fool knows. All the others are fakes. After all, if I wasn’t the real Danny Wallace, how would I know how to spell my name? Let’s hear no more about it. Anyway, have a great Edinburgh, and I’ll see you all in the bar! Oh bugger.  Other pages: DANNY'S HOT TIP FOR THE PERRIER: Either the Boosh or Ross Noble. DEAD RINGERS: The hottest radio property since ITMA. HOW TO PLUG YOUR RADIO 4 DOCUMENTARIES ON OTHER PEOPLE'S FORUMS - get some Irish twat to do it for you.
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