Absolutely Posted Tue Dec 12 15:47:25 GMT 2000 by 'Grendel'

Welcome back guys. I'm in utter agreeance with you regarding your editorial. Intelligent comedy is sorely lacking.

As an example of this, I emailed both the Paramount Channel and Absolutely Productions regarding repeats of the still-fantastic-and-forgotten comedy revue "Absolutely". Surely, with Paramount seemingly able to repeat any old cack from C4, they'd be able to repeat it. The response? Nowt from Paramount, and a simple email from Absolutely saying "no way, bucko". Perhaps it's simply been out of circulation too long?

I cry, and watch my DivX's of Brass Eye to console myself....


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Tue Dec 12 15:58:48 GMT 2000:

'No way bucko'? Oh dear. What does that remind me of?

Absolutely Productions currently seem to be devoted to making things which aren't as good as 'Absolutely'.

The show has actually been repeated on Paramount though, hasn't it? They even put out a few first series shows a while back (when they had a 'covenient slot' - otherwise it was all series 3).


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Gee' on Tue Dec 12 16:42:40 GMT 2000:

When you talk of Absolutely, do you mean that shite Jack Docherty was in? That fucking sucked big time.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Tue Dec 12 17:10:00 GMT 2000:

No it did *not* suck. Diminishing returns tainted the last series, certainly, but the first two and parts of the third ("Who d'you think we're not now? Give up? Ok, close the door, close the door!") were genius. I still readily laugh my arse off at my fading 1991 vidos.

Maybe they have been on Paramount - sadly I've been without access to it for nearly a year.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Stuart O' on Tue Dec 12 17:43:24 GMT 2000:

Absolutely was mostly fatnastic, and it's exactly the sort of thing Paramount might latch on to if they can tear themselves away from yet more Monty Python repeats.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Paul' on Tue Dec 12 18:01:55 GMT 2000:

I have just dug out tapes of the second series in their unedited glory- fantastic they are too.

If you want someone to re-run them, don't bother with Paramount. Channel Four want the re-run rights for all their material to lapse to them (as in the case of Father Ted) so they can be run on E4. If you want to see them in all their glory contact E4 and lobby them for it.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Tue Dec 12 19:29:59 GMT 2000:

Sorry, I'm very ignorant - E4? Whassat?

I badly need to get Digital TV, if only to watch endless UK Play "Fast Show Weekends".

*retch*


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Chris Lyons' on Wed Dec 13 09:24:44 GMT 2000:

E4 is the new digital station from Channel 4 that focuses solely on entertainment, hence the E.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Wed Dec 13 10:26:53 GMT 2000:

Well, with a bit of luck, C4 might get it right and show decent repeats covering a wide spectrum of comedy, rather than the turgid regurgitated shite that UK Play endeavours to thrust upon an unquestioning, plebbian public drunk on mediocrity and familiarism.

Hey, who do I sound like? ;) Well, the truth hurts.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Paul ' on Wed Dec 13 18:40:42 GMT 2000:

>Well, with a bit of luck, C4 might get it right and show decent repeats covering a wide spectrum of comedy, rather than the turgid regurgitated shite that UK Play endeavours to thrust upon an unquestioning, plebbian public drunk on mediocrity and familiarism.
>

I doubt it. Father Ted and Ali G, plus a 'Best of Borat'...
>Hey, who do I sound like? ;) Well, the truth hurts.
>


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'MJ' on Sat Dec 16 23:03:31 GMT 2000:

Isn't E4 going to be full of (quote) 'new, innovative programming', i.e. 'new, tedious shite presented by someone off Big Brother.' And repeats of Friends, natch.

It would be marvellous if E4 (or even Paramount when it expands it's programming hours next year) set aside three or four hours per night to show a whole series of Absolutely, Who Dares Wins, hell, even Arthur and Phil Go Off back to back overnight. One can but dream.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Mike4SOTCAA on Sun Dec 17 15:24:53 GMT 2000:

Were you paraphrasing 'no way, bucko'? And if not, who at Absolutely said it?


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Wed Dec 20 17:32:14 GMT 2000:

I dunno, I can't remember. I've had enough of all this Abergavenny, I'm off to Club Sboncyn for a nice sensible pint of cheesewater.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Wed Dec 20 18:29:07 GMT 2000:

Grendel - you are one hot chick.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Thu Dec 21 09:32:38 GMT 2000:

I've brought you a carburettor from my Ford Escort... etc.

So, how's the old Perkins?


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Sat Dec 23 12:48:00 GMT 2000:

"Well, wife of mine and mother of my family, that really was the most delicious yellow food I've EVER tasted..."

(I really must back up my series one vids before they snap through overwatching.)


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Wed Dec 27 23:54:24 GMT 2000:

Would there be any chance of a copy (expenses paid, natch) of the Series One for a lonely Absolutely nut who's never had the chance to see it? I offer money, sex and all the Old Fflegm Lovely Beer you can drink.

"To the radiogram!"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Thu Dec 28 22:01:57 GMT 2000:

I'm going to try and organise a Video-to-Video copying session soon. If I do, I'll run off some spares and we'll do some black-market trading.
Ach-y-fi.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Fri Dec 29 15:11:52 GMT 2000:

Wicked, cheers.

"The landlord said to me, Frank, why don't you use the Ladies? But they wouldn't keep still".

"Gwynned, how many times have I told you, never, ever use the hoover.. ever"

Oh frig, Absolutely really was far too funny for it's own good. The very fact my series 2 and 3 vidos still make me wet myself after watching them for 8 years says something. Anyway, on to slagging off the Fast Show.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Fri Dec 29 15:21:30 GMT 2000:

As an addendum, I've just been idly considering what parts of 'Absolutely' could be considered truly 'dark' to use the current comedic buzzword (in the incorrect sense).

The whole Calum Gilhooley/John Docherty stuff from series 2 should be shown to all these current buzzword-purveyors to really show them that DARK means far more than soundtracks, creepy lighting and field-removed video. The one where John is standing in the middle of a shopping precinct yelling "WILL YOU PLEASE ALL LEAVE ME ALONE?" at the top of his voice, only to be confronted by Calum rabbiting on about Bananas and Balize (prior to Calum getting a swift punch in the stomach) is as unsettling as it is funny. Ditto the courtroom sketch - despite some great one-liners, John's weary "Will you please, please send me to prison" is dripping with the stuff. Marvellous.

Morwenna Banks' "Little Girl" goes for the darkness jugular quite often - there's something genuinely horrifying about her description of hospitals.

And Frank Hovis? Bert Bastard when he's reading his suicide note? There's the dark side of humanity laid bare and ridiculed.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By george on Fri Dec 29 23:20:34 GMT 2000:

I'm currently relying on fading memories of Denzil, Stonybriggs and this site to remind me that the series actually existed. If any tapes are going around, let me know. Thanks.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Sat Dec 30 01:19:06 GMT 2000:

1."What about Travel In Time?"
"Oh yes, markedly different. Man invents time machine, travels back to 1965 and shoots Geoff Hurst."

2. "...And I found that after about thirty or forty pints of rager, I couldn't walk!"

3. "And how am I supposed to address the Welsh Institute Of Wrwood, dressed like a twit. I look like somebody from Llanelli!"

4. "Great - the movie's Die Hard. I love Bob Willis."

5. "I don't need glasses, then?"
"You don't need glasses now."

Five moments of genius (among dozens more) from two random series 3 episodes.

Pull your fingers out, E4! (Or Paramount.)


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Sat Dec 30 01:20:15 GMT 2000:

Yes, OK, #2 of that list was from a third episode of series 3. Just try and stop watching one show after another!


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Ewar Woowar on Sat Dec 30 12:27:51 GMT 2000:

George, I've got a very old tape of one series, not sure which one (the one with Putting Children To Use - anyone?). I'm sending it to Jon, but I could get him to send it to you after he's watched it. Sorry, not able to make copies.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By george on Sat Dec 30 23:50:05 GMT 2000:

Thanks Ewar, I'll be in touch.

There was three clips from Absolutely in *Hoots* on BBC1 last night. (Don't ask - terrible programme, but I'll save that for another thread....)

The credits didn't show Absolutely Productions or Paramount, but Channel 4. Does this mean that they still hold the rights?


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Sun Dec 31 16:17:17 GMT 2000:

Darkness in Absolutely?

What about Bert going through his friends' phone numbers in series one?

"Dead... Dead... Dead... Dead... Deaf... No point phoning 'im then... Dead... Dead... All dead. Bastards."

Did John Sparkes sue Paul Whitehouse for Unlucky Alf? He should have done.

Oh, and Jack Docherty's art student making a Pasolini wedding video for his sister.

And not dark at all, but hilarious (in a Fry and Laurie way) The Ancient Art of Waku-Taki. "Very popular with... the LADIES!"

Why were the compilation videos such shit selections of sketches, by the way?


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Tue Jan 9 01:02:21 GMT 2001:

http://www.absolutely-uk.com/

It's all Stressed Eric and Armstrong & Miller, but you do at least get to hear Pete Baikie's fab lounge music from the sketch in which the 'frightfully clever' pianist makes lunch in a restaurant.

Baikie should put *all* his songs online in our view.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Tue Jan 9 16:53:29 GMT 2001:

Absolutely - Learn Scots sketch:

"Ah it canna be"
"Oh it cannot be"

"Ah it willna be"
"Oh it will not be"

"Ah it canna willna hurly burly etc etc (Scottish gibberish)"
"Oh but it is - I'm very annoyed with the newsagent."

E4 - repeat Absolutely. NOW!


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Tue Jan 9 22:29:32 GMT 2001:

That piece of lounge music is called "Tico Tico" - I heard it on Radio 2 a few weeks ago in a Wurlitzer organ arrangement. All I could think of was Baikie grinning.

Al - God E4 should repeat Absolutely. They won't, though. What clots they are.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Ewar Woowar on Wed Jan 10 10:10:21 GMT 2001:

No, *Channel* 4 should repeat Absolutely. If they stuck it on E4 it would just infuriate me further.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Wed Jan 10 10:21:41 GMT 2001:

>No, *Channel* 4 should repeat Absolutely. If they stuck it on E4 it would just infuriate me further.

You are, of course, right Ewar. It's just that nearly eight years of waiting for repeats on C4 has led to dulling of my brain, and assumption that this will never happen.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bent Halo on Wed Jan 10 21:40:49 GMT 2001:

"How did you *know* my sister is a midget?!"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Thu Jan 11 14:17:20 GMT 2001:

"HOW CAN YOU BE *BOTHERED* TO BE *BOTHERED* ABOUT THAT???"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Ewar Woowar on Thu Jan 11 14:33:20 GMT 2001:

"My Dad was a kid. But he couldn't keep it up."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Thu Jan 11 23:52:56 GMT 2001:

"What's that you got by there, boy?

Pair of shoes, is it?"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'MJ' on Sat Jan 13 17:10:17 GMT 2001:

Y'know, I reeeeealy wish my tape of Absolutely series two hadn't got chewed up in my old Ferguson Videostar and got thrown away. The only quote I can remember off-hand now is:

"I'm hard, me. I'm having a heart attack.. now!"

nb. Earlier in this thread I stated that E4 would be full of crap shows hosted by Big Brother contestants. I have since learned that one such show is to be hosted by such a person. The 'Mel' one. Yes.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Sat Jan 13 17:23:40 GMT 2001:

>"I'm hard, me. I'm having a heart attack.. now!"

"I'm too haaaaard for an anaesthetic, see. I say pull 'em teeth out, gooboy, an' I'll sing you a sonng..."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By TJ on Sat Jan 13 17:39:52 GMT 2001:

Wasn't there a sketch about something like a cleaner who was being tailed by police and had "done three houses already"???


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Sat Jan 13 17:40:31 GMT 2001:

"Hey that's Wullie - he must have got his van fixed - see you later gang!"

"1941 - I don't know how you ever expected to get that one back..."

"I can go past your window! I can do anything, anything anything..."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Sat Jan 13 20:18:18 GMT 2001:

"Change your face and you'll change your life..."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Sun Jan 14 23:44:00 GMT 2001:

And look at this man.

So he started world war two.

So he was responsible for the deaths of millions.

But he had a PROPER BLOODY HAIRCUT!


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Mon Jan 15 09:52:20 GMT 2001:

"Bruce, it's your wife! She doesnae wanna marry you!"

"Well, tell her the divorce is off.......:


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Ewar Woowar on Mon Jan 15 11:32:58 GMT 2001:

"I can remember when all this was Perkins. And then the Perkins came. And they tore the Perkins out of this Perkins, Perkins."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Mon Jan 15 18:11:39 GMT 2001:

"No, it's not lovely, I'm afraid, it's just like every other baby in the world; an ugly little pink bag of shit"

"Do you know the speed limit around here, sir?"
"Yes, 40 miles an hour"
"And do you know how fast you were going?"
"Yes, I do, 70 miles and hour"
[Pause]
"Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Yes, eight pints and a bottle of brandy, now piss off!"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Mon Jan 15 18:54:18 GMT 2001:

'How can you be BOTHERED to be BOTHERED about that?'


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Mon Jan 15 19:28:11 GMT 2001:

Excuse me but this is crap isn't it?

Yes, sing for us, do.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Mon Jan 15 22:03:25 GMT 2001:

>'How can you be BOTHERED to be BOTHERED about that?'

We've done that!


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Tue Jan 16 00:22:54 GMT 2001:

Have you got any left over from the Band Aid video?


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Tue Jan 16 08:03:17 GMT 2001:

A wonderful place. All coffee and football.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Mike4SOTCAA on Tue Jan 16 09:25:39 GMT 2001:

'Thank you, father - you're firm but firm...'


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Tue Jan 16 10:46:25 GMT 2001:

Look father it's Mr Louvee Poumpe and Mrs Biche Quain come to see you.

(Damn this gammy phonetic spelling.)


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Tue Jan 16 18:10:03 GMT 2001:

"Oh no, it's Callum! I haven't seen him for two years! We'll have to catch up on all his news, which in itself will take another two years!"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Tue Jan 16 18:10:54 GMT 2001:

"I'm not snaking off down to Millwall every Saturday in the company of a stammering Artful Dodger"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Tue Jan 16 18:58:52 GMT 2001:

(Docherty in desperation to be free of him:)
"Callum, would you like to buy my flat for ten pounds?"

(Hunter:)
"Well... I've no' had a survey done..."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Tue Jan 16 22:18:19 GMT 2001:

'You know, the trouble I find with comedy...is that I never know when to laugh!'


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'bH' on Wed Jan 17 00:22:51 GMT 2001:

'Now, what about those lovely Oxfam presents that Malcolm and Helen gave us...?'

'Yes, I think this is them in the bin...'


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By TJ on Wed Jan 17 00:32:48 GMT 2001:

"Shut up you, Aberystwyth face..."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Wed Jan 17 01:42:12 GMT 2001:

"And how am I supposed to address the Wwwwwelsh Institute of Wwwwwood looking like a twit?? I look like somebody from Llanechli!"

Oooo, fuck, Absolutely was just too fucking funny. We need all four series repeated in their entireties RIGHT NOW, if only to show all these pretenders what real comedy is all about.

"Stoneybridge..."
"Home of the people who live here"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Wed Jan 17 09:40:39 GMT 2001:

Pour l'argent?
Non, pour le prestige et l'argent

('scuse the French)


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Wed Jan 17 09:43:51 GMT 2001:

"You don't think you could just give him a bell then?"

"Shave..... P'rhaps not."

"I 'ave' brought you the carburettor from a Ford Escort..."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'boki' on Wed Jan 17 10:36:53 GMT 2001:

'snot fair. Can't join in because my fvourite gags were quite visual.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Wed Jan 17 10:57:01 GMT 2001:

D' you no think we're overstretching ourselves a snatch?

No offence intended, maigret.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Mike4SOTCAA on Wed Jan 17 13:44:33 GMT 2001:

If being bald and quite interesting was an Olympic sport, then surely Wully McFee would be there or thereabouts.

If we could get him out the pub. Oh-hah!


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Wed Jan 17 14:32:41 GMT 2001:

Ah, yes! You have to get up pretty early in the morning... if you want to watch TVam.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Wed Jan 17 19:05:38 GMT 2001:

Sorry to spoil the flow but why does the Absolutely Productionsí website make no mention of their creation? Is it a copyright thing or is it that they donít want it to show up the other rather bland offerings currently on the site?

Anyway.

You havenít got rats again, have you?


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Wed Jan 17 19:40:49 GMT 2001:

>'snot fair. Can't join in because my fvourite gags were quite visual.

Beep... beep... beep...

*hums 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'*

*wiggles fingers*


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'radicalposture' on Wed Jan 17 20:20:16 GMT 2001:

I'd like to book a flight please.
* Right, where are you going?
I'm going to see Gavin, my mate...

--

Could you spell that please?
Yes, G for.... er... G for gnome...
Gnome?!
Yes that's G for gnome, N for... gnome...


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Thu Jan 18 07:49:11 GMT 2001:

A lovely little Welsh number. A Gwylim Tidy.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Mike4SOTCAA on Thu Jan 18 13:26:55 GMT 2001:

Do not be frightened, please thank you, febus I'm only gonna have a look for heaven's sake.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'boki' on Thu Jan 18 13:33:52 GMT 2001:

Can't remember the exact wording, but:
"Ah, but our TV's over there"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Thu Jan 18 13:55:49 GMT 2001:

>Do not be frightened, please thank you, febus I'm only gonna have a look for heaven's sake.

OK I give in. I don't remember that one.

Brucie, I'm being ravished by teuchters


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'boki' on Thu Jan 18 16:36:50 GMT 2001:

>>Do not be frightened, please thank you, febus I'm only gonna have a look for heaven's sake.
>
>OK I give in. I don't remember that one.


It's the little girl talking about the dentist, isn't it?


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Thu Jan 18 17:24:38 GMT 2001:

>It's the little girl talking about the dentist, isn't it?

Just before he climbed in her mouth to 'have an adventure'.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Mike4SOTCAA on Fri Jan 19 15:53:56 GMT 2001:

Ha ha, you're late, take this recipe three times a day.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Fri Jan 19 16:48:47 GMT 2001:

In six month's time you'll have a Chelsea Bun that you never had before


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Fri Jan 19 17:28:35 GMT 2001:

"Just think Donald.. four bicycle pumps.. lightly smeared in butter... the word "stupid" doesn't float by?"

"What does stupid mean again?"

"It means bicycle pumps when we already have about four million!!!"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Fri Jan 19 20:33:14 GMT 2001:

"What are you reading?"

"The Gas Board Employee's Regulations"

"Any good?"

"It's alright, but it's hardly Dickens."

"Hardly Dickens? Any relation to Charles?"

"Let's have a look. Ah, here it is. 'Hardly Dickens is the great great grandchild of Charles Dickens. He was a gas board employee for over thirty years. He lives in Dorset with a pullover. This is his first book.'"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Sat Jan 20 01:26:14 GMT 2001:

"George You're Simply The Best - the game designed by George to be won by George..."

"Bruce... in action."

"I've been rearranging my tapes into alphabetical order - which was fine until I got to 'The The'"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jim' on Sat Jan 20 11:31:13 GMT 2001:


>"I've been rearranging my tapes into alphabetical order - which was fine until I got to 'The The'"

Surely it was along the lines of

"I've been rearranging my tapes in alphabetical order but I had a lot begining with The. So I started again but ignored The but then I got to The The so I threw them away"

Name?
Gilhooly
Can you spell it?
Yes thanks


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Sat Jan 20 13:11:55 GMT 2001:

"Canankerous" - *able* to be pleasant to we.

"You could call it 'Whose Corrugated Iron Is It Anyway?'!"

"One good cough and you're in all sorts of trouble."

"And Spencer's!"

"This man is the only man in the world to have brilliant veruccas. And certainly the only one who has photographs of them."


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Sat Jan 20 14:39:30 GMT 2001:

WENNA: They say it feels like the tip of your nose. I dunno, whadda you think - do you think your uterus feels like the tip of your nose?

JACK: (to audience, dumbfounded) This is a question I can *not* answer! I have known this woman for only six minutes and we're already swapping amusing uterus anecdotes...


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Sat Jan 20 15:04:55 GMT 2001:

>
>>"I've been rearranging my tapes into alphabetical order - which was fine until I got to 'The The'"
>
>Surely it was along the lines of
>
>"I've been rearranging my tapes in alphabetical order but I had a lot begining with The. So I started again but ignored The but then I got to The The so I threw them away"
>
Probably - I haven't seen Absolutely for a long a time because NO BUGGER WILL REPEAT ANY.

"William Shakespeare - you won't be seeing him again!"


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Grendel' on Sat Jan 20 15:19:37 GMT 2001:

"A monarchy has many advantages, one of which is, you can't be bloody king!"

We really have to stop this.


Subject: Re: Absolutely [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Sun Jan 21 01:17:18 GMT 2001:

"How much is crisps?"


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