Try and get the originals, not the thirty-minute edits. Of which, more later...
1.
At least two trailers were made to publicise the first series, both of which were specially-recorded and featured original material. If pre-pubescent memory serves, one trailer showed the characters seated at the kitchen table with Neil introducing each one in turn (while playing with a toy van bearing the show’s title), and another (performed in front of an audience and designed to be broadcast with a continuity-announcer voice-over) simply featured Neil staring gormlessly into the camera while Rick waved desperately in sunglasses. The BBC has predictably never seen fit to include these on its video releases.
2.
In ‘Demolition’ (9/11/82), there is a strange character (of ambiguous gender) with hippy hair over his/her face sitting in the corner of the living-room. Could he/she have been present in a cut scene? Notice that he’s/she’s also present in both ‘Boring’, as the bearded, robed old man passes her in the hallway, and in ‘Interesting’, where he/she is slumped in a chair during Vyvyan’s vacuum cleaner demonstration. The top of his/her head is also possibly visible in ‘Bomb’, as Vyvyan hits Neil over the head with the teapot. The reasons for the presence of this character are unknown. It could simply be a reference to the fact that student residences always have stray hippies slumped in the corner of the living room, although - if this is the case - it seems, as a joke, disturbingly subtle.
3.
Also in ‘Demolition’, an unidentified woman at the bus stop holding a dog with an excitable wagging tail gets a inappropriately elongated laugh as Mr Balowski steps off the bus. This could be indicative of an extra scene which the home viewers never saw. The link into the scene also appears to display comedy-censorship, as the 'ding ding' of the bus bell obscures passenger Pauline Melville's observation that what the suicidal Neil needs is 'a good hard…', although this may actually be hiding a genuine cut line.
[NOTE: ‘Demolition’ was the pilot episode, recorded in January 1982 and shelved until the reluctant BBC, having seen the schedule for Channel 4's launch night on 2/11/82 which featured the first 'Comic Strip Presents…' film, realised the commercial value of its contents. Roger Wilmut, in his excellent Didn’t You Kill My Mother-In Law? (Methuen, 1989), writes that the BBC commissioned a second pilot, but then later agreed to a full series - it is not clear, however, whether this second pilot (‘Oil’?) was made before the ‘full series’ commission was acted upon. It has also not been confirmed whether the ‘pilot version’ of ‘Demolition’ was re-edited before transmission, although one part of the show must have been changed - namely, the opening titles, which features stills from subsequent episodes and shots of the characters in a slightly more developed (or more visually defined) form than they appear in ‘Demolition’.]
4.
In ‘Oil’ (16/11/82), Rick drops a lighted match onto the cooker - this causes a terrific explosion, which is played in slow-motion. It looks like an extraordinarily dangerous stunt for Mayall, and it appears baffling (a) how it was done, and (b) why the production crew allowed their star player to risk his life in such a way. In fact, a frame by frame analysis of the sequence reveals that it is simply a clever illusion: it is clear that all the pyrotechnics are taking place behind Mayall, with the only effects on the cooker itself being a bright ‘flash’ and a compressed-air canister shooting debris across the set. The reasons for the slow-motion (which is still too fast for the illusion to be ruined for viewers) were probably artistic - it provides a suitably surreal bridge to the ‘Liferaft’ scene, with the audience laughter drowned in echo to emphasise this. Alternatively, it could be that the explosion simply looked more convincing when presented in this way. It is almost certain that the scene was pre-recorded, and it is possible that the section, when presented in real time, did not edit satisfactorily with the shots leading up to it.
[UPDATED NOTE: We've since come across a BBC Christmas Tape which features the above sequence in real time. Its inclusion as an out-take is due to the fact that the explosion sound FX were cued in slightly too early (and didn't correspond with the pyrotechnics). Having said that, there's no reason why the audio couldn't have be jigged about on its own so maybe it was an 'artistic decision' after all.]
5.
In ‘Boring’ (30/11/82), there is a one-frame shot of a flying carpet near the beginning of the episode - at 1’24, sandwiched between the culmination of the dancing-chip-and-carrot scene and an exterior shot of the house. This was presumably part of the sequence where various fantastical and historical figures languish in the house before the inhabitants wake up. The VT-editor was clearly working in a rush, however, and one frame - presumably from an earlier rough cut - was not removed.
Fig 1. An
edit…
6.
Just before Helen Mucus (Jennifer Saunders) leaves the house in ‘Time’, Mike asks her ‘What’s two foot long with a big round end?’. Saunders suppresses a coy smile and says she doesn’t know. ‘Nor do I,’ replies Mike, ‘But I keep finding it in my cornflakes.’ What follows looks very strange - Saunders appears to giggle and say ‘It could be your...’ before being flattened by the front door. ‘Now I’ll never know!’ opines Mike. This sequence is odd because Saunders’ character seems to change at this point, although awkward-looking editing (the door-flattening obviously calling for a special effect) means that its significance is ambiguous.
7.
The ubiquitous testcard that the characters watch in ‘Bomb’ remains on the TV set even after Rick switches it off. It is likely that the testcard was simply sellotaped onto the set, which explains why Rick places his body in front of the screen so awkwardly as he changes channels. Note too how the cameraman attempts to pan away from the testcard once it should no longer be visible.
8
. As Dawn French, as an unwelcome Christian, barges into the house in 'Interesting' (7/11/82), a shadowy figure (or two) can be seen lurking at the top of the stairs. He was perhaps overseeing the propelling of the gigantic sandwich, which culminated the scene.
9.
During the ‘tampon’ scene in ‘Interesting’, there are obvious, awkward-looking cutaways to the embarrassed party goers after Rick dunks the tampon in the girl’s lager. These are clearly used to disguise the tampon’s expansion (which was perhaps shown in close-up) with laughter-washes again suggesting heavy editing. Rick’s words, ‘Oh, it’s gone all big’ can still be heard on the soundtrack. Since the team often smugly cite this scene as an example of their triumph over the censors, it is strange that these (very obvious) compromises are never mentioned. It is possible that, Jackson aside, most of the team have yet to actually watch the episode.
10.
The Radio Times were originally sent the running order of the second series in an incorrect order: ‘Sick’ was listed as the first episode, while only ‘Summer Holiday’ was listed correctly (as Show 6). The Radio Times were therefore perhaps working from a list of shows in order of their original recording dates. To confuse matters further, ‘Sick’ (29/5/84) and ‘Time’ (5/6/84) were originally transmitted as shows 4 and 5 respectively, yet they are 'officially' billed the other way around. The Guinness Book Of Classic British TV (1995) lists them the latter way, and this is the order in which they are presented on the ‘Complete Series 2’ video. The transmission order, meanwhile, has remained the same for subsequent repeats with the exception of the 1999 re-run.
[NOTE (1): For the first repeats of Series 1, ‘Boring’ (Show 3) and ‘Bomb’ (Show 4) were broadcast the wrong way around. The reason remains unknown. This fucked up a subtle bit of continuity: in ‘Boring’ Billy Balowski leaves his bicycle behind when he leaves; in ‘Bomb’, it is still present in the hallway.]
11.
The video releases contain longer edits of two sequences:
a) The video version of ‘Nasty’ (22/5/84) has - at 8’02 - a sequence, not in the transmitted edit, showing two teddy bears copulating on Rick’s bed. One teddy bear cries ‘Look out!’, and - as they spring apart - Rick flings open the door. For transmission, both the bears and Rick’s line ‘…because I know it’s going to happen, so the joke’s on you’ are cut. The teddy bears were alluded to in a Radio Times article about the second series (‘On A Trail Of Disaster’, 1/5/84), so it’s not as if the public weren’t warned!
b) The video version of ‘Sick’ (originally broadcast 29/5/84) features extra footage of Neil sneezing, with his theatrical snot-squirter clearly in view.
12.
During the ‘University Challenge’ sequence in ‘Bambi’, Vyvyan appears to have a plate of bacon sandwiches as his mascot. Was this a subtle joke about the fate of the pig he had initially bought to the recording (who had indeed gone by the name of Bacon Sandwich)? Or was there an extra scene/exchange explaining a joke which was cut? The joke was possibly born out of necessity: hiring animals for television shows is notoriously expensive, and the budget probably didn’t allow for the same pig to be present at both the TV reception scene (pre-recorded) and the quiz section itself (performed before the audience). How much that fucking great elephant cost, meanwhile, is anyone's guess...
13.
In ‘Sick’, Vyvyan’s easy-going approach to communal living is disrupted when Rick and Neil begin shouting; he solves this problem by setting light to a bottle of vodka and throwing it across the landing. However, the rag placed inside the bottle refused to light on the first take, causing Edmondson to sigh and look despondently at the camera. This out-take was shown on an Auntie’s Bloomers compilation in 1994, although it is not clear whether any further rushes footage survives. When quizzed on the subject, miserable BBC Archives charlatan Christine Slattery (86) claimed 'some rushes material survives', but was too busy wiping classic Dad's Army episodes to elucidate further.[NOTE: There is a two-hour compilation bootleg of Young Ones out-takes in circulation, but the scumbastard who claims to own a copy refuses to get his scart leads out. If you have a copy yourself, e-mail us and you’ll be remembered in our respective wills.]
14.
Alexei Sayle used to do the warm-up for The Young Ones. Speaking on This Morning in 1996, he claimed that the audience were once so terrified by his presence that the first ten minutes of the recording didn’t get any laughs whatsoever. However, like the unhelpful berk that he is, he couldn’t remember which episode this was. None of the twelve episodes seem particularly starved of laughter from the outset, although it’s probable that some scenes were shown to the audience out of sequence.
15.
Most of the episodes in the second series contain subliminal flashframes at various points: a seagull, a dripping tap, a jumping frog, and - in ‘Bambi’ - the end caption from Carry On Cowboy. The reason for this gimmick was partly to fool viewers, and partly because they could. According to Roger Wilmut, there is a written message from the vision-mixer in ‘Summer Holiday’ reading ‘It wasn’t my idea to put these flashframes in’, although it doesn’t seem to be present in the transmitted version - perhaps this flashframe was present in a scene which was cut? In the same episode, the picture briefly turns to monochrome as the characters board the bus after their disastrous bank robbery. This was presumably a Pythonesque attempt at getting viewers to adjust their televisions unnecessarily - perhaps so that, when the colour faded in again, the picture resembled the gaudy Technicolor of the Cliff Richard film which gave the show its title.[NOTE: The Carry On Cowboy flashframe (which actually has a brief snatch of music and gives the impression of somebody switching channels) could just as easily be a cutaway in order to remove a Ryan-fluff before the line ‘Dirty duvet, dirty mind’.]
16. SUMMER HOLIDAY - REVELATIONS
FROM THE SHOOTING SCRIPT
Yay! We've digested the original shooting script
of 'Summer Holiday' from top to bottom to bring you amusement never
broadcast. Thanks with kisses to Jason Hazeley and (friend's
name?) for sharing.
a) An extra little scene occurs in the garden before Rick comes bounding in singing 'School's Out':
VYV God I'm bored. Term only finished four hours ago and already I'm bored.
PAUSE
VYV GETS UP AND WALKS OVER TO THE BACK OF THE HOUSE. HE SMASHES HIS HEAD THROUGH THE KITCHEN WINDOW. HE PULLS HIS HEAD BACK OUT AND PICKS UP A SPADE. HE SMASHES ANOTHER WINDOW. THROWS THE SPADE DOWN AND STARTS UPROOTING PLANTS. MIKE REACTION
PAUSE
VYV Oh cuh - this is worse than closing time ...I know! Let's pretend to be drunk. LOOK OUT! (FALLS OVER) I haven't touched a drop officer - I always park my car in the hedge... Show us your broobies you... Oh no - I've eaten all my money... Does anyone know where I live? GIVE ME THAT TURPENTINE. I know - let's all go back to my place and set it on fire... Have I been sick yet?
COLLAPSES
b) The boticelli game has an alternate version of 'Do you make a lot of money by sticking your hand up a duck's bottom? / ''No, I'm not Keith Harris' exchange:
VYV Alright alright I've got one... Do you talk through your nose and have a hairpiece?
RICK Er no, I am not Ned Sherrin
VYVIAN LOOKS DISAPPOINTED
It's the fact that Vyvian gets disappointed that does it for us.
c) Ade Edmonson plays the part of 'Elephant Head'. So now you know.
d) Ben Elton's 'Hawk - Stay Witty And Sexist To The Bottom Of The Glass' advert actor is refered to in the script as 'Wally'. Fans of Granada's pre-Alfresco comedy series There's Nothing To Worry About will recall the same character also advertising blokey lager adverts.
e) Neil's irritation at the changing of the guards on the BBC closedown ('Not this band - they're always on!') originally had him saying 'What about some Hawkwind or Grand Funk Railroad?'. In the show, 'Grand Funk Railroad' was changed to 'Marillion'.
f) The obvious edit before Jerzy starts singing 'Barbara Ann' at Neil's party hides something along the lines of the script's revelation that he likes parties, 'except communist parties'.
g) No mention is made in the script of Neil wearing 3-D specs to view the monster which pops up (he does react however, muttering 'Sorry guys, I keep having these hallucinations - where were we?'). Alan Freeman as God meanwhile does wear them (see below)
h) A cut exchange:
JERZY OK Boys, what do you want first? The good news or the bad news?
NEIL Er...the bad news
JERZY OK. You owe me 14, 000 million pounds in damages and back rent, and as from now you're all evicted. OK?
NEIL Oh no. What's the good news?
JERZY Hitler's dead.
i) This is the best one - the full 'Alan Freeman as God' sequence, unedited:
PRE-RECORD ON H83510/81350
SCENE 616. GOD.
CUT TO HEAVEN. GOD SITS IN ARMCHAIR, OR AT A DESK. HE IS WEARING 3D SPECS. HE TAKES OFF GLASSES.
GOD Hello, let me introduce myself. I'm God. You didn't expect me to be a woman did you? Still - we can't all be omniscient can we? Well obviously not - otherwise we'd all be God and where would that leave me? Out of a job that's where. Now I expect a lot of you are wondering why the same being who set the stars in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the Earth in less than a day, and created great whales and every living creature that moveth eh eh, should create four, sorry five such unpleasant and seemingly useless specimens of mankind - and in my image. Well, let's face it, I'm a creative guy - besides, what's image? It changes so fast these days you can't keep up, so get off my back will you? Most of you are probably atheists anyway.
STICKS HIS TONGUE OUT AT CAMERA. HE FISHES IN POCKET AND PRODUCES TWO THUNDERBOLTS. HE THROWS ONE.
[NOTE: The transmitted edit cuts away after 'You didn't expect me to be a woman did you?' but the thunderbolt-throwing is dropped into Jerzy's house ad. The latter appears only as a note in the shooting script. God's tongue-poking meanwhile featured in the opening titles of the episode.]
> [NOTE (2): 'God' also appeared in 'Cash', dropped in to reply to the guys' irritation at their risotto ('Oh God!' / 'Don't blame me - I didn't cook it. Alright?'). Interesting that the character is onlt properly introduced in the final show. We wonder if he was meant to make guest spots in every show...
j) The full lyrics to John Otway's 'Body Talk' are included in the shooting script. Fucking great.
16. Also in ‘Summer Holiday’, Rick’s game of Botticelli is cut short by Mike’s inability to comprehend the rules. Insisting that he already knows Rick is Neil Armstrong, Rick responds: ‘Yes, but supposing I’d forgotten...’ to which Mike replies ‘You’d be pretty stupid - I’ve already told you three times’. However, he has done no such thing - he has in fact only told him twice. Another viewing of the scene reveals a juicy edit right in the middle of the sequence.
17.
In ‘Summer Holiday’, look at Nigel Planer after Rick laughs at Jerzy’s reference to ‘number twos’. He seems to be smiling in that way that actors do when they’re in the middle of many fluffs, corpses and re-takes and aren’t sure whether to remain in character or not.
18.
Aside from John Otway, who presumably came cheap, all of the bands’ performances in the second series were pre-recorded. In the first series, they tended to play live before the studio audience.
19.
PRS problems are in evidence on the videos:
a) The Cliff Richard song which opens ‘Oil’ (‘Got no bags or baggage to hold me down...’) could not be cleared for copyright. To that end, the video version (released in 1988) omits the song and, and as no Cliffless edit of the scene was available, features a re-recorded audio track over this section. A reunion of sorts, this dialogue is slightly different to the original (e.g., ‘I think it’s beautiful, Rick’ instead of ‘Well I think it’s very beautiful, Rick’), suggesting that they were working from shooting scripts rather than transcripts. The birdsong is also much louder. The footage edits back into the original recording on Neil’s line ‘Er...looking out of when people knock’, upon which the picture texture also appears to change. To confuse matters further, the original version seems to be overdubbed too, with the characters’ mouth-moments very much out-of-sync.
b) Meanwhile, the first chunk of the scene where Neil and Rik dig for oil has been cut due to the inclusion of a song (‘Working on a chain gang...’) on the soundtrack. Again, the song could not be removed as rushes were not available, and - as the scene features character close-ups (as opposed to the problematic 'Cliff' intro which was in long-shot) - the dialogue could not be re-dubbed convincingly. The post-dialogue scene that remains, up until Vyvyan gets pick-axed, has, however, been tampered with - a ‘wild’ audience laughter track and something approaching the original digging sounds obscuring what was left of the song.
c) The dim strains of The Beatles’ ‘Good Day Sunshine’ can be heard at the beginning of the original transmission of ‘Boring’. It’s been mixed off completely for the 'Oil, Boring & Flood' video release. However, for the subsequent 'Complete Series 2' video, a short snatch of the offending song is briefly audible at the very beginning - it ceases abruptly as the bearded, robed old man enters the living room, although the birdsong and audience laughter remain intact.
d) Tight Fit’s ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ originally accompanied the lion-taming sequence in ‘Flood’ (14/12/82). It’s been mixed off for the video, rendering the whole scene fairly redundant.
e) Interestingly, the first Young Ones video, released in 1988, featured ‘Oil’, ‘Boring’ and ‘Flood’, presented in a horrible abridged format (i.e. bookended by one set of opening titles and end-credits, meaning Vyvyan’s punchline at the end of ‘Oil’ was absent). Why were these chosen first, rather than three more obviously popular episodes? A probable theory is that, despite all the hassles illustrated above, these were the easiest to release, PRS-wise, as only two of the shows featured pop groups - one was Alexei Sayle’s band Radical Posture, the other was Madness, and it was presumably easy in both cases for the BBC to track down their respective publishers. There was then a gap of over two years before the next volume (featuring ‘Bambi’, ‘Nasty’ and ‘Time’) was released, and the two subsequent volumes arrived relatively quickly after that. This long period between the first and second release was presumably spent sorting out legal problems, paying royalties, and pondering on where Rip Rig and Panic live these days.
[NOTE: The abridging of episodes in this way was quite common in the 1980s, but now seems to be thankfully obsolete. The original 1984 videos of Fawlty Towers, for example, featured a brief sting of the theme music, accompanied by an exterior shot of the hotel (thereby retaining the ‘Flowery Twats’ anagrams on the hotel sign), and featured an extended credit sequence at the end which reprised moments from the preceding episodes (with actors’ names superimposed on the screen). The subsequent re-issues featured the episodes as transmitted.]
20.
In 1995, BBC2 embarked upon a messy re-run of both series, with the transmission time and day fluctuating with each episode. Shows broadcast on Saturday nights generally ran at their full 35-minute time, while mid-week showings occupied a 30-minute slot. (This decision was made despite the fact that BBC2 were currently screening the 25-minute Not The Nine O’Clock News compilations, which could have sat alongside the uncut Young Ones episodes and neatly filled an hour-long slot.) The truncated episodes were ‘Demolition’, ‘Interesting’, ‘Flood’, ‘Bambi’, ‘Cash’, ‘Nasty’ and ‘Sick’. For the 1999 repeats, all editions were 30-minute edits. This has meant certain lines (e.g. Neil saying ‘He’d better be good, this Norman Tebbitt’) are now meaningless, as some necessary set-up scenes have been cut. The worst casualties are those episodes where the week’s pop group is part of the plot and cannot be spliced out completely - this means that anything too ‘weird’ has bitten the dust, as have sections of dialogue deemed ‘losable’.
The 30-minute edit of ‘Bambi’ was broadcast as a one-off repeat in September 1998, billed in the Radio Times as ‘a BAFTA Award-winning episode’. The likelihood that it probably wouldn’t have been BAFTA Award-winning if judged on the basis of this edit did not seem to concern the BBC or their jumped-up little listings magazine. There were seven edits in the show, among them some of the series’ funniest and most widely quoted material (the first thirty seconds of Neil and Rick on the train, for example, not to mention the ‘Mary’ sequence at the beginning, Vyvyan learning how to tell the time, and Chris Ryan’s classic brandy glass/wristwatch joke), totalling 5’35 of missing material.
We wrote to Jon Plowman, Head Of Comedy Entertainment about these changes. He responded:
‘It was my department that butchered Bambi. Of course you are morally right and if the world were a better place, without VCRs, so you can check your edits and enjoy the original show, you would be completely justified. [If anyone understands this sentence, please get in touch.] If there is a flaw in your argument it’s to assume that those who make comedy want it to be ossified and not organic. You assume that every editing choice made in the first place was believed to be perfect at the time. That’s not necessarily the case, even if BBC2 didn’t try to stick to a 30-minute comedy schedule. I know that various episodes of comedy shows I’ve made would better [sic] for a new nip and tuck. You may also rest assured that the cuts weren’t made without the full blessing and co-operation of the BBC Head Of Entertainment Paul Jackson and Ben Elton, writer and performer of this parish.’
Since the edited repeats began this year, we’ve written both to the BBC’s Controller of Entertainment Paul Jackson (who was also the series’ original producer) and Ben Elton, expressing our irritation. Jackson responded:
‘I am sorry that you are offended by the shortening of the original Young Ones shows into a half-hour slot. I can only assure you that I supervised the editing of all 12 shows myself and did so in conjunction with the original writing team. I have to say, having viewed the shows at this time distance, it is my belief that they are by and large improved for this tightening - much that seemed unarguably funny eighteen years ago now looks slow by comparison to modern expectations. I was in fact very glad to have the opportunity to re-cut the shows for today’s audience. Can I however assure you that the old 35-minute versions will be preserved alongside the new 30 minute versions, therefore nothing has been lost as such. I can also tell you that we have not had the luxury of being able to have access to original studio rushes to do this re-edit. We have done it entirely from the existing transmission material. As is common in any production house, rushes are wiped within two or three years of origination. It is always difficult making what are ultimately subjective judgements in the area of comedy, but I can only assure you that I undertook these credits with the greatest of care and in consultation with my original creative colleagues. I am delighted you hold the show in such high esteem and hope you will continue to do so.’
This attitude is so wrong - and, sadly, The Young Ones no longer has a fan following that would fight against it. Since the episodes are very well known among viewers and have been repeated many times, we can only assume that most people are aware of the cuts but - like Plowman and Jackson - simply don’t give a fuck. Such people, and comedy fans, now seem over-distanced from the climate in which The Young Ones was initially received, so much so that lines which were heavily quoted in pubs and playgrounds at the time of the original transmission (e.g. Rick’s ‘Pollution’ poem, the ‘Dino & Dicky’ sequence, Mike’s ‘Caption!’, and so on) have noticeably been the first to be cut. The fact that many of the cut scenes found their way into BBC2’s History Of Alternative Comedy series (broadcast 10/1/99 - 14/2/99, around the time of the butchered repeats) should have caused raised eyebrows. However, the fact that Nigel ‘Neil’ Planer has recently gone on record as saying he now finds the cutaway sequences ‘embarrassing’ won’t help matters.
Special mention must be made of the scene in ‘Boring’ where a representative of a cornflakes company is harassed by Jim Barclay’s sunglasses-clad policeman. The joke is that the policeman believes him to be black, and it is only upon removing his sunglasses that he realises his mistake. However, possibly due to the spinelesssness of Jackson (who was troubled by the scene upon its original transmission following reports that schoolchildren had recreated the dialogue), all the actual racist taunts were removed. This made the scene incomprehensible, and ruined what was clearly a (deliberately) heavy-handed piece of satire. This kind of self-censorship was not what The Young Ones was about.
Here is a transcript of the scene - the cut dialogue is placed in square brackets:
A (Caucasian) businessman rings the doorbell. A policeman, wearing sunglasses, creeps up behind him
POLICEMAN Ho ho ho, ha ha ha ha.(Puts his hand on his shoulder) [Well, Mr Sambo Darkie Coon – I’ve got your number. You’re nicked.]
BUSINESSMAN Is there anything the matter, officer?
POLICEMAN [Ho ho ho. Oh dear me - don’t me talk lovely, Mr Rastus Chocolate Drop?] Now listen here, son - I’ve done a weekend’s training with the SAS. I could pull both your arms off and leave no trace of violence. Lord Scarman need never know.
BUSINESSMAN What seems to be the trouble, officer? (Rings doorbell again)
POLICEMAN That’s white man’s electricity you’re burning, ringing that bell. That’s theft. I’ve got your number, so hold out your head.
BUSINESSMAN (Removing his gloves) Officer, I represent ‘Kellogg’s Cornflakes Car Competition’. I…
The policeman removes his sunglasses and peers at the businessman
POLICEMAN (Embarrassed) Oh. Sorry, John. [Heh...I thought you was a nigger.]
[The businessman laughs understandably]
POLICEMAN [Alright, sir.] Carry on.
Boring, work-a-day attitudes to convenient running times are one thing. Censorship is another. In the same letter, Jackson wrote:
‘You particularly mentioned the way I have dealt with the racist policeman in the ‘Boring’ episode. I have to tell you that I did this quite intentionally, since it became quite an issue for us at the time of the original production. We were perfectly happy with the cut that went out in the original show, but we received a significant number of letters - particularly from young black viewers - who had found at this moment that their common joy in a series which was very much, at that stage, an underground delight for young people had been horribly tainted by this sudden use of language which they found offensive and distressing. It caused us a great deal of concern at the time and this seemed to be an opportunity to maintain the joke while losing some of the most aggressive language. You may like to contrast this with the BBC video version in which the sequence is removed altogether.’
Jackson is a fool - and a smug one at that. Unfortunately, he has the power to abuse his position in this way, self-righteously cleansing his guilt without considering how his actions will affect the comedy. The fact that some ‘young black viewers’ may have enjoyed the sequence and will feel patronised by Jackson’s self-serving piety doesn’t seem to worry him. Jackson is wrong to worry over his responsibility with regard to issues like racism - the only ‘responsibility’ he has is to create the best comedy in he world.
In any case, it’s irrelevant - comedy shows are snapshots of the climate in which they were recorded, and should always be viewed as such. Jackson’s talk of the shows’ ‘unsuitability’ for ‘modern audiences’ makes our skin crawl. It’s worth noting that 1998 repeats of Fawlty Towers and The Black Adder (also 35-minute episodes) were not cut in this way. Were these considered sacred texts in a way that The Young Ones wasn’t? Or is it simply that their respective producers do not have privileged, boardroom positions at the BBC?
Write to Paul Jackson and complain loudly. He lives in Room 4152 at BBC Television Centre, Wood Lane, London W12 7RJ. Call him on (0181) 225 6003.
[NOTE (1): Jackson is factually incorrect on his last point - the ‘Policeman’ sequence is intact on both the ‘Oil, Boring & Flood’ and ‘Complete Series 1’ tapes. Having said that, both titles have since been re-issued - therefore, if you possess these editions, please contact us and let us know what the situation is. (The re-issued ‘Complete Series 1’ has an ugly white border around its spine; the re-issued ‘Oil, Boring & Flood’ is on the ‘Right Price Comedy’ budget label. We’re also keen to know if the scene is present on the ‘Very Best Of The Young Ones’ video.)]
[NOTE (2): The television presenter’s closing line during the siege report (‘We’re sorry we couldn’t bring you Bastard Squad, but at least we got the mad coon with the gun eh?’) was not cut from ‘Boring’, possibly because it was less audible.]
[NOTE (3): We also contacted Ben Elton to ask him why he had given his blessing to the re-edits. He didn’t reply.]
