Chat show vehicle for Steve Coogan’s Alan Partridge character. The original radio series (1992/93) is an unquestionable masterpiece, and must be heard in full. The TV version (1994) was less impressive, relying on a certain amount of mugging and a disintegration of the Marber/Front/Schneider/MacKichan repertory cast, but it was still gold in comparison to the clumsy, pleb-tugging I’m Alan Partridge.
NOTE:
The tentative attitude of BBC Radio Collection staff has meant that the radio series of Knowing Me Knowing You (1/12/92 - 3/1/93) was not released on CD/cassette in its correct order. For reference purposes, the commercial releases of the series feature the following episodes:
Knowing Me Knowing You 1
(ZBBC 1518 CD): Shows 2 and 6Knowing Me Knowing You 2 (ZBBC 1637 CD): Shows 4 and 5
Knowing Me Knowing You 3 (ZBBC 1671 CD): Shows 1 and 3
1.
The original pilot for the radio series was essentially a looser edit of what became the first show in the series (1/12/92). The main differences are listed below, with the snipped sections denoted by bold type:(a) A short introduction by Partridge, before the signature tune. Producer Armando Iannucci makes an early, in-character cameo:
ALAN
OK, so remember - the show starts, er...the signature tune comes in, you get a bit of a snippet of, er, ‘Knowing Me Knowing You’, then you the audience applaud after I say ‘Ah-haaaaa’. ‘Knowing Me Knowing You’, ‘Ah-haaaaa’ - see? Erm...so, is everyone ready, for the show to start? All relaxed? It looks like it...a bit. Right, OK...FEMALE VOICE The red light’s on.
IANNUCCI OK, sig coming up. Stand by, Alan.
ALAN Right, OK, we’re ready. (Audience start laughing) Him at the back - leave that there, you. (Angry) S’alright, leave...leave it there! OK.
(Sig starts)
[NOTE (1): The laugh which follows the last line occurs as the signature tune starts - it can therefore still be heard on the broadcast edit.]
[NOTE (2): The voice Iannucci uses is similar to the character he portrays in his On The Hour cameos.]
(b) Partridge testing the brain power of novelist Lawrence Camleigh (Patrick Marber):
ALAN
I’m just going into the audience here. [Anyone wanna ask a question?] What question do you wanna ask?
WOMAN What is the capital of Kenya?
ALAN Good question - what’s the capital of Kenya? Do you know the answer?
CAMLEIGH I have already told you, I refuse to participate in this ridiculous charade. [This is not a test of knowledge! Knowledge is the ability to synthesise and conceptualise information - it is not the ridiculous rote-learning of trivial facts that one might see on some stupid machine in a public house!] *
ALAN Fair enough, but it’s not the answer. What’s the capital, come on, you know...
CAMLEIGH I know the answer! I am not...
ALAN You don’t...He doesn’t know! He doesn’t know!
CAMLEIGH I do know the answer! I do know the answer!
ALAN What’s the answer?
CAMLEIGH It’s bloody Nairobi!
(Audience applauds and cheers)
ALAN Well done! Really fantastic! Big hand...once more, there he is...y’know, he could get a lot of work on the conference circuit doing clever stuff like that. [Barry Took could tell a few jokes...
CAMLEIGH Oh yes, yes...very rum, very rum...
ALAN You could, er...you could...you could get in there with a bit of cleverness.] Listen, that’s all we’ve got time for - got another question about your dog, no time for that...
[* The ‘s’ sound in the word ‘house’ is still audible as Partridge says ‘Fair enough’.]
(c) Sex therapist Allie Tennant (Rebecca Front) demonstrating her technique with the ‘disturbed couple’, Linda (Doon MacKichan) and Peter (David Schneider):
TENNANT Thank you Peter, and well done. [So, that’s the birthing phase...now we’re entering the dialoguing phase. Your problems started shortly after the birth of your baby, Sam.
PETER Samuel.
LINDA Sam.
PETER His name’s Samuel...it’s er, it’s a long name, it’s an old testament name, it’s a lovely name!
TENNANT OK, end of dialogue. Good - that’s good, it’s going very well. Good.] Phase three.
[NOTE: The absence of the second, ‘dialoguing’ phase in Tennant’s demonstration may have already confused some listeners.]
(d) During the main Allie Tennant interview:
TENNANT That really is the basic point - we need to just air those problems as we did there.
ALAN Right. Now...[sex.
TENNANT Mm-mm.
ALAN It’s difficult, isn’t it?
TENNANT Mm-mm.
ALAN I mean, to talk about - it’s not difficult to do, obviously. What I’m saying is, it’s a prickly...it’s a thorny old...
TENNANT It’s a minefield. It’s absolute minefield.
ALAN Of thorns.
TENNANT Mmm.]
ALAN Tell me about sex.
(e) Partridge, Tennant and Adam Wells (Patrick Marber) discussing the sixties:
ALAN I suppose you were having orgies, were you?
WELLS I was actually, yeah. I mean, we all were.
[ALAN What, you really went to an orgy?
TENNANT Loads of them - they were just...
WELLS Three or four a week, wasn’t it?
TENNANT At least!] It was the thing to do.
ALAN (To Tennant) You went to an orgy?
TENNANT I went to many, yes. Yes.
ALAN: Wha...h-how...
WELLS They were mixed.
ALAN How do you sta...how did you have an orgy, then? What did you do?
TENNANT It’s fairly self-explanatory!
WELLS Come on, it was twenty five years ago - I can’t remember the actual mechanics...
ALAN Well you must be able to...try and remember...
WELLS Well I can’t remember.
ALAN Try and remember! [(Calms down) Just try, just try, I mean how did it happen, w-what did...?
WELLS Well, it was very natural, it was very osmotic, y’know...
ALAN Girl got her top off, started dancing - something like that?
TENNANT Oh no.
ALAN No?
TENNANT Preposterous idea. No, it was just a very happening kind of thing wasn’t it? It just sort of developed.
WELLS I mean, we just got it on.
TENNANT Mm. Mm.
ALAN What, you two?
WELLS Probably. I mean, it was dark...
ALAN D-d-d-did you], did you, did you, did you ever, ever see, er...
WELLS What?
ALAN D’you ever see two girls kissing?
WELLS Yeah, all the time. It was very free and easy.
ALAN Did you ever...d’you ever kiss a bloke?
WELLS No.
(f) Another section from the Adam Wells interview:
ALAN Now...I tell you what I else I bought, I bought one of those African masks - horrendous!
WELLS Aw, terrific. [Made in Coventry
ALAN Great, fantastic.
WELLS By black people.
ALAN Good, well done - give him a round of applau...great stuff there. (Audience starts to applaud) But no not no no no, not yet. I put...put one on the wall, next to the trophy cabinet, and erm]...it was quite a...last Hallowe’en, I had a bit of a joke with it...
(g) The last difference is the most shocking, and concerns the ‘bombshell’ at the end of the show. Here is a reminder of the broadcast version:
ALAN Thailand. Bit more relaxed, the culture there isn’t it? They don’t mind eleven year old boys, that kind of thing...
WELLS Hold on, wha...what are you saying?
ALAN Just that, y’know...
WELLS No no no, you’re always flanneling about. What are you saying?
ALAN Alright, I’ll tell you what I’m saying.
WELLS Yes, what are you saying?
ALAN I , Alan Partridge...
WELLS Yes, I know who you are...
ALAN ...Am saying to you, Adam Wells, you...in the sixties, you were a big shot, you went to loads of orgies with men and women at them...
WELLS Yes, and you’re jealous because you weren’t there!
ALAN I’m not jealous, I was at loads of barbecues. You were all over the place - seeing women here, women there, and dabbling all over the world. Four wives...
WELLS How many women have you had, Alan?
ALAN That’s irrelevant...you...the point is...
WELLS You’ve had one! You’ve had one!
ALAN And I’ve got two strapping children to show for it, and you haven’t born any children have you?
WELLS So what are you sa...?
ALAN What am I saying? You...have been spreading yer seed, but reaping no harvest!
WELLS What’s that supposed to mean?
ALAN You’re firing blanks! You are...you are infertile!
TENNANT Aw now, look, you can’t say...
WELLS For God’s sake...
ALAN And on that bombshell...
This, meanwhile, was the original ending:
ALAN Thailand. Bit more relaxed, the culture there isn’t it?
[WELLS It is, it is...
ALAN More tolerant.
WELLS It’s not a knocking society. In this society - you succeed, they knock you down, they pull the grass from under you feet, the rug from over your head...y’know, it’s madness...
ALAN But out there...
WELLS There, there...they’re more free and easy, they’re more liberal. Y’know, once you’re up on that pedestal, they’re not gonna chip away at it.
ALAN No, they don’t mind you], they don’t mind eleven year old boys, that kind of thing...
WELLS Hold on, wha...what are you saying?
ALAN Just that, y’know...
WELLS No no no, you’re always flanneling about. What are you saying?
ALAN Alright, I’ll tell you what I’m saying.
WELLS Yes, what are you saying?
ALAN I , Alan Partridge...
WELLS Yes, I know who you are...
ALAN ...Am saying to you, Adam Wells, you...[in the sixties, you were a big shot, you thought you were the bee’s knees, you had the hit single...
WELLS And you don’t like it!
ALAN I don’t like it? I was having a great time. Years later, you become a millionaire in the seventies...
WELLS You’re jealous!
ALAN Loads of orgies...
WELLS You’re jealous!
ALAN With men and women there, millions of them...
WELLS There were no men!
ALAN There were men and women...
WELLS There were no men.
ALAN There were loads of men...
WELLS No men.
ALAN And you were there, and in the sixties, seventies, loads of money, back and forth to Thailand, loads of eleven year old boys...
WELLS I’ve got to look after my staff...
ALAN You bit off more than you can chew, I tell you what I’m trying to say...
WELLS Why don’t you come out with it?
ALAN You’ve been meddling and it’s reaping revenge, that you’ve got the big one - you’ve got AIDS!]
TENNANT Aw now, look, you can’t say...
WELLS For God’s sake...
ALAN And on that bombshell...
It is not known why this superior, and genuinely arresting, climax was replaced with the ‘firing blanks’ alternative, nor is it known during which session the replacement was recorded. It is possible that Iannucci recorded two endings, perhaps anticipating objections from the Radio 4 censors. It is equally possible that it was self-censorship by the team, who may have felt that the bombshell was too strong for an opening episode.
2.
It is possible, if you possess the right wires, to cancel the middle picture of a stereo recording and isolate sounds common only to the right or left channels. This usually results in removing a singer’s voice, leaving only the backing track, and - with this in mind - some modern sound systems have this built in as a ‘Karaoke’ button. The same signal effect constitutes the back speakers of ‘Surround Sound’ on nice expensive hi-fi equipment. Try it with the radio editions of Knowing Me Knowing You and you can often reduce the volume of Coogan’s voice, making hitherto inaudible material at the extremes of the stereo picture audible for the first time. It also makes the ‘click’ of razor-blade edits very obvious, and allows you to speculate upon where actors were sitting in relation to the on-stage microphones. We spotted three things, all from the first show:
When Allie Tennant (Rebecca Front) begins to describe a female orgasm, Partridge’s desperate cries of ‘It’s over, leave it!’ make her words inaudible. Mutual waveform cancelling, however, reveals a bizarre non-sequitur: ‘No, there’s no comparison ’cos Chopper Ron was just a hatchet man; Andy’s a spreader, he distributes...’ Since there is a huge, laughter-truncating edit which precedes Partridge’s ‘Okay, well...’ line, it is likely that the pair were no longer discussing orgasms at this point, but were perhaps talking about Tennant’s ex-lovers.
[NOTE (1): The word ‘chopper’ was only present in the pilot version (>Point 1). It was cut for episode one as transmitted, perhaps because Iannucci thought it was too conspicuous a word.]
David Schneider’s joyous cry of ‘Watch that windmill!’ at the end of ‘The Smiling Bicycle Of Amsterdam’ can be heard if you remove Partridge saying ‘Fantastic’.
At the close of the show, Adam Wells begins ranting, but Partridge dominates the stereo picture. With a bit of waveform cancelling, his words (‘Alan Partridge - who is this guy? A monster in a Pringle sweater...’) become audible for the first time.
3.
On the CD/cassette version of Show 2 (8/12/92), Partridge’s first exchange with lawyer Nick Ford (Patrick Marber) has been edited slightly. The cut section (included on the original transmission and on its subsequent repeat) is presented in bold:
FORD Knowing me, knowing you, ah-hah?
PARTRIDGE No, there can be no ah-hahs. There’s been a dreadful error. You were supposed to come on to ‘Voulez Vous’ by Abba. I don’t know what that was.
[FORD It was ‘I Fought The Law’ by The Clash.
PARTRIDGE Why?]
FORD Well I always come on in court to ‘I Fought The Law’ by The Clash.
This cut was presumably made with the intention of tightening up the scene, but why this was only the case for the commercial release is a mystery. It is possible that two versions were prepared, differing only in this one respect, and the producer responsible for preparing the tape assumed there were two copies of the same edit. The above example is minor, but - considering what extra material may exist on other shows assumed to be duplicate copies - it is quite worrying that archivists may junk tapes on this basis.
4.
There is an obvious cut during the interview with child genius Simon Fisher (Doon MacKichan) and his father John (David Schneider). Attempting to shift attention away from the friction between Partridge and his son, Fisher Senior announces that he enjoys sport and ‘represented my school at the London School Swimming Championships’. There is then an obvious edit before Partridge comes back with the non sequitur ‘Your bronze medal could come in very handy’.
5.
The line in the final radio show (3/1/93) about covering the deceased Lord in a ‘Pringle shroud’ was improvised. Marber, playing dead on the soundstage floor, was sweating with hysterics.
6.
The TV pilot, recorded in April 1994, was performed as one long 45-minute take and didn’t feature a single fluff. According to one audience member, the show was superb: it featured Patrick Marber as Keith Hunt (and as Lieutenant Kojak Baldy Slaphead III in the Question Time parody), alongside Rebecca Front playing a sex therapist character similar to the one in the radio series, and Felix Dexter as a fencing champion.
7.
In Show 3, Marber’s original lines about punching Jessica Tandy were overdubbed as ‘Angela Lansbury’ for transmission following Tandy’s death. Long cutaways were used to disguise Marber’s mouth movements. The video restores the original lines.
8.
The shots showing Partridge’s Bond ephemera - the toy car, the third nipple, etc - in Show 1 (16/9/94) have different vision-mixing on the video and broadcast-edit: long-shots have been replaced with close-ups, something only possible if the multi-camera rushes were still available at the time the videos were put together. Or were the video versions the original, intended edits, with long-shots pasted on for broadcast afterwards?
9.
The original transmission of Show 1 featured a burst of John Barry’s James Bond theme as the guests enter ‘The Roger Moore Room’. This was changed for the video release, with PRS-friendly, Bond-esque music pasted over the top.
10.
It is revealed in the longer edit of Show 2 that Marber’s character is impotent - hence Partridge’s reference to ‘Mr Floppy, the actor’.
11.
The jury’s still out on whether the defecation of the horse in Show 1 was planned or not. It seemed like a comment on the famous Blue Peter/Lulu The Elephant incident, but we are slightly incredulous that Iannucci, Coogan and the team would have permitted such an obvious, unsubtle, ‘knowing wink’ reference so early in the series’ development. The horse-shitting appears to be genuine (i.e., we see the shitting itself), and it is probable that Coogan’s line ‘We were going to have a horse jump - now we’ve got a lump of dung’ was, if not an ad lib, an impromptu line suggested to him by Iannucci. If so, this would explain (a) the edit before the line, which also truncated the audience’s hysterics, and (b) the vision-mixing after the line, which possibly obscures Rebecca Front’s corpsing face. The whole situation did, however, yield Partridge’s fantastic line ‘Can someone clear that shit away, please?’ and his worry that people might associate it with him.
[NOTE: There is a direct reference to the Blue Peter elephant in Show 6, which would not have been present in the script if the horse-shit scenario was planned for Show 1.]
12.
The knife-throwing scene in Show 2 (23/9/94) was recorded at a different session from the rest of the episode.
[NOTE (2): The same revolving-wheel was used in The Friday Night Armistice (Series 3, Show 6, recorded on 12/2/98 for transmission the following night), where - in a satire of the ‘Nanny State’ - David Schneider threw knives at Peter Baynham while downing a series of Tequila slammers. As on Knowing Me Knowing You , an edit was constructed inter-cutting shots of the wheel (where, illusion fans, trick-knives ejected backwards from its surface) with wild shots of Schneider flinging the knives (where, illusion fans, the cardboard knives were safely dropped behind him before being propelled).
13.
There is a running joke in Show 3 concerning Dave Lee Travis’ penchant for suing anyone who gets in his way (see also Victor Lewis Smith, Point 7). All references, bar one, were removed for the broadcast edit. However, since they appeared uncut on the video version, it is probable that they were merely cut for reasons of time and structure. An almost identical situation occurred with a running joke in the same show about the show being sponsored by a soft drink called Sprünt (the logo of which can be seen on the can Partridge drinks from, and on the thongs of the erotic dancers). This joke was also reinstated for the video release.
14.
In fact, if you know the series but haven’t seen the video-release versions, do so now. It’s worth it for the This Is Your Life parody, which arguably would have stretched credibility if presented in the show itself but is still great to see for its own sake.
