Originally known in the press-release world as ‘Trip TV’, Chris Morris’ masterwork was postponed and re-edited before its eventual transmission in 1997. Myths about the series are many, but the truth remains elusive.
1.
Most shows utilised the unnaturally long, ‘police siren’ two-chord loop of the signature tune before and after the ad breaks. It is not clear whether this was a joke about the pseudo-urgency of current affairs television, or to gain time for material which was removed. This technique was also used on the end credits of The Day Today and in the ‘Call 1FM’ sections of The Chris Morris Music Show.
2.
Show 4 (19/2/97) features a Kilroy parody with Chris Morris’ character interviewing a teenage girl about the sexual abuse she has suffered. Morris then becomes transfixed with the girl, and begins to mumble non-sequiturs under his breath. However, one such non-sequitur was added in post-production: during the session, Morris had muttered the word ‘twelve’ in a clear state of arousal; for broadcast, however, this was re-dubbed as ‘twirly’.
3.
The ‘Wanking Senator’ sketch in the same show was also ‘censored’. Morris’ original proposal was to have semen ejaculating from a convincing rubber penis. Morris then bargained with censors for a compromise: he suggested that the semen should still be visible but the penis should be Pixelated. This was passed, although it’s worth pondering on whether Morris knew full-well that his earlier suggestion was out of the question, and had used it as a bargaining device to make the still-outrageous scene sound tame by comparison.
4.
The interview with Peter Tatchell (the gay rights activist, famous for ‘outing’ celebrities and politicians) was also subject to sinister-looking censorship. In this case, the obscured words were overdubbed with two sound effects - a croaking frog and a piece of ambient FX similar to the music enjoyed by cake addicts (in all instances, Morris’ mouth was visually distorted).
The interview was transmitted thus:
MORRIS So what’s next?
TATCHELL So what’s next?
MORRIS Yeah, what do you reckon? I mean, what’s gonna be the next issue, and will it be for the next election?
TATCHELL I think undoubtedly Outrage will make an intervention at the time of the next General Election.
MORRIS Are you gonna [Croaking frog]?
TATCHELL I think we’ll be thinking about doing what we can to put pressure on various people in authority...
MORRIS Yeah, b-b-but, man...y’know, I mean, if you...if that...was on the agenda...I mean, th-th-the frog wouldn’t come out of the box, would he?
TATCHELL The frog certainly would come out of the box.
MORRIS What, [Croaking frog]?
TATCHELL If two cabinet ministers came out...
MORRIS Howard, [Croaking frog]…
TATCHELL That would certainly make a very, very big impact.
MORRIS [Scoffs] But you say that Labour would then...two of them would come at well probably, wouldn’t they?
TATCHELL Well...
MORRIS: They’re following suit like, y’know, kids playing snap...
TATCHELL Well, I think...y’know...the problem is everybody’s too scared to do it by themselves. You get six, seven, eight, nine, ten MPs all coming out at once - none of them are picked on individually...[Morris does ‘Phew, steady on’ type reactions]...they’ll all be able to have the mutual support and solidarity hopefully of their colleagues...
MORRIS You get Jack Straw, Robin Cook [Ambient FX] and Michael Howard - would there be an argument for them coming out if they weren’t gay at all?
TATCHELL Well that might be an interesting proposition...
MORRIS It’s a bloody convincing argument. Why not send [Croaking frog] a tape of this programme saying, ‘[Ambient noise], come on mate, you’re obviously [Ambient FX]…[Ambient FX], you’re a big [Croaking frog].
TATCHELL Yes...
mouth-blur
The main censored word was clearly ‘Portillo’, although it is likely that Morris’ final line (presumably involving some trademark euphemisms) was over-obscured for comic effect. Michael Portillo’s sexuality had often been a target for lesser comedians’ jibes, although it is not clear why it presented particular problems here (nor is the reason why the other names in the piece were not censored in the same way). It is also unknown when this censoring took place - was it present, sans frogs, in the original 1996 edit, or was it a victim of eleventh-hour cutting?
[NOTE: Michael Portillo admitted to homosexual activity in October 1999, rendering such comments completely non-defamatory. Not that Iain Lee noticed.]
5.
The phrase ‘God’s Cock Rubbed On Wog’s Neck’ was cut from the series, although it is not known in which episode it appeared. It is likely, however, that it was one of the newspaper headlines in the pre-titles section of the ‘Sex’ show: when we return to Morris after the ‘...mouth stuffed in anus’ line, he is clearly not saying ‘anus’; also, the close-up of the ‘man dressed as glans’ headline is presented in slow motion.
[NOTE: A piece of dialogue has clearly been cut from Morris’ sign-off in the ‘Sex’ show; OTT graphics were used in the preceding sequence to disguise this. A similarly abrupt edit is evident in the opening sequence of the 'Crime' episode, where Chris' berating of the pinned-down criminal is suddenly cut short by the titles ('Why have you gone back to the crime you turned your back on..?'). ]
6.
When Brass Eye collaborator Peter Baynham appeared on an edition of Light Lunch in 1998, he was asked by a caller whether any of the in-terviewees on the show had become suspicious of the proceedings and had blown Morris’ cover. Baynham said yes, and began to relate an anecdote about a monologue he did as a Welsh duck farmer. Unfortunately, the programme was nearing its close and the story was curtailed in mid-flow. Had Baynham not wasted the bulk of the interview talking about boredom (and doing a dance), we might have learned something.
[NOTE: Speaking on the Channel 4 documentary Faking It (2/2/99), Clare Rayner insisted that she had made you-must-think-I’m-stupid type comments after Morris had shown her the cannabis-smoking dog item. On the edit, all that was shown was a brief shot of Rayner looking confused.]
[NOTE (2): Richard FitzGerald has sent us this mail:
< 'Your lengthy 'Brass Eye' section made a reference to Baynham having an anecdote about a guest rumbling them, but I didn't spot a mention of the following Morris story:
"Morris saw Tory MP Nigel Evans on television discussing the Leah Betts tragedy and remembers thinking, "Here's a twat who knows nothing, I'll get him on TV for a bit of a chat." This was never seen in 'Brass Eye' because "Nigel looked very confused and answered "yes" to the question, "Don't you think that in the 70s paki-bashing was just a bit of fun?"". Morris then had a make-up man powder his face with white powder, Evans' with black. The result: Evans rushing to the toilet clutching his arse, Morris screaming for crew members to occupy all the toilets with mirrors, Evans seeing his reflection in a mirror, and the whole crew - Morris included - dropping their tools and fleeing out of the back door. "It was like school", said Chris."
< The above is quoted from a magazine called 'Raise', which was distributed free in colleges (maybe only art colleges as none of my friends at 'real' university saw a copy). It purports to be "the only" Chris Morris interview, but overall its an irritating piece, full of lies added by the author, and its sometimes hard to tell which bits of it are hoax.
< Perhaps this story is a famous Morris-myth that I somehow missed? Maybe you wrote it? Hope not.
Keep up the spoddiwork - much appreciated 'round here.'
(Thanks, Rich)]
7.
Morris interviewed (or attempted to interview) Reggie Kray for the series. This was aborted after an employee of TalkBack received death threats from an unknown source.
8.
Melody Maker (who interviewed Morris in November 1998) claimed that an item about a ‘Holocaust board game’ was dropped from one of the shows. While this has not been substantiated elsewhere, it was revealed - during BBC2’s 1999 Fear And Loathing series of documentaries about the resurgence of Nazism in Europe - that a version of Monopoly with London streets replaced with the names of concentration camps is among a line of kitsch anti-Semitic merchandise available via mail order.
9.
Show 6 (5/3/97) was butchered to death by Channel 4’s censors:
(a) The first few lines of Morris’ links as he walks in front of the bank of monitors are sometimes over-dubbed.
(b) The sketch about a business meeting where everyone takes drugs could conceivably be an out-take from the ‘Drugs’ episode (Show 2, 5/2/97). It is unusual among Brass Eye sketches in that it consists of a long sequence centring on one joke, a luxury not tolerated elsewhere in the series. This suggests that it was footage for which Morris could not find a place, and its rather joyless presence in Show 6 was perhaps a result of the show under-running by several minutes
.
(c) The final scene before the credits - which insiders promised would ‘give people heart attacks’ and provide a fitting end to the series - was blurred beyond all recognition by Channel 4’s censorship. The sequence featured the ultimate metaphor for ‘Moral Decline’: a leering Jesus, sporting an erection chasing after a child. Squint a bit and you can just make it out. Note how Morris delivers his closing words via a Channel 4 logo, denoting that the censorship is theirs, not his.
THE BRASS EYE FINALE - HOW IT WAS CENSORED
VERY BADLY…
(d) The saga over the last full sketch in Show 6 (a musical about Peter Sutcliffe, the ‘Yorkshire Ripper’) has been well documented, but the chronology of events remains blurred. Despite Morris and Channel 4’s lawyers providing a cast-iron defence of the sketch to pre-empt any ITC problems, the story broke (via some mouthy actor who appeared in it) and spread. The Daily Mail spread it further and pretty much forced Michael Grade, then controller of Channel 4, to order its cancellation on the day of broadcast.
However, when this story was wrapped up in a Guardian article (‘Mock Horror’, 10/3/97), we assumed that the whole affair was a Morris hoax. After all, the central joke in the sketch is no different from the ‘Pulp sing about Myra Hindley’ spoof, with perhaps a little of The Tall Guy’s ‘Elephant Man’ musical thrown in, and the whole idea seems somewhat below par for Brass Eye. It’s also worth noting that the idea for a musical about Jack The Ripper is alluded to in the film This Is Spinal Tap (1984).
At least one member of the cast did confirm the sketch’s existence at the time. On the other hand, when we asked Peter Baynham about its authorship recently, he answered: ‘Who wrote it? Well, no one did...what do you mean?’. He was drunk, obviously, but that drunkenness speaks volumes. He also denies that Show 6 was full of cuts, and is ignorant of the ‘bank of monitors’ overdubs. The only fact he managed to dredge up about ‘Sutcliffe’ is that one section featured the Ripper’s co-stars complaining that the incorrigible star kept creeping up behind them and making scary noises!
There appears to be no video bootleg of the sketch in circulation
(>Point 4) . The only clues as to its content come from hints dropped in interviews, and from publicity material at the time. For example, the songs sung by the ripper were ‘I’m Just A Simple Lorry Driver’, ‘I’m So Sorry’, and a ditty with the refrain ‘Ha ha ha, you can’t catch me’ (Source: The Face, July 1998). The Guardian article also featured a couple of screen-grabs from the sketch, one of which showed an interviewee called ‘Tasscam Holiday’. It is also known that John MacCririck was among those hoaxed into voicing his concern about the musical.
‘Sutcliffe’ postcards were manufactured at the time, replicating the supposed poster for the show:
The target of this postcard remains unclear - it is unlikely to be intended as a hoax in itself as the way it’s presented is hardly subtle, but it is possible that Morris intended to fool people into claiming that such a sketch existed. The screen-grabs could prove we’re mistaken, but could equally be faked. If this was the case, who was the hoax aimed at? Rabid, right-wing defenders of public morality like The Mail, or hey-wow defenders of public freedom like The Guardian?
Brass Eye was described with typical idiocy by the Radio Times as ‘slightly edited but with its satirical teeth intact’. A mystery therefore concerns the point at which the edits to Show 6 (and indeed all the shows) were made. Michael Grade was on holiday at the time, and made the decision to cut Show 6 via a hasty, eleventh-hour telephone conversation with Channel 4. But who was in the editing suite that day? And were the other, more minor cuts (e.g., the car engine obscuring the reference to a 'blow job' from The Pope) enforced at the same time, or were they censored at a much earlier date?
Obviously, Morris would have been present at the re-editing session in order to re-dub the ‘bank of monitors’ sections, and the unspectacular nature of the material (‘He married her, what does he expect?’) suggests not only that he was working in a hurry, but also that his anger had made him disinterested in the overall quality of the programme. However, the idea of Morris grudgingly agreeing to a long list of further edits is something we find difficult to picture, and the likelihood of Grade (then on good speaking-terms with Morris, and someone who had fought hard to keep the programme on air) having an ‘oh, and another thing...’ blue-pencil blitz on the other side of the Atlantic is also fairly implausible. It is more likely that the other edits were made at an earlier stage in Show 6’s development, and that ‘Sutcliffe’ was simply the last in a long line of ‘problems’. It is, however, unclear as to when the ‘Jesus/Erection’ scene was censored, and it is also strange that this story failed to reach the press. The ‘Grade is a cunt’ flashframe (visible as the ‘Terry Waite Bible’ section cuts to the ‘Hospital bed’ scene) was indicative of Morris’ eventual frustration and exhaustion with the Brass Eye project.
[NOTE: An examination of the running time of the episode (21’16) will allow you to speculate on how much material was cut.]
Grade is a cunt.
It is at times like this that one wishes the furore over the ‘Michael Heseltine’ incident (Radio 1, 6/7/94) hadn’t occurred. Although exciting and amusing at the time, in the long run it’s been a rope around Morris’ neck who can no longer attempt a radio or TV project without the right-wing press trying to campaign against it. The apocryphal list of alleged Morris misdoings (from the still-unsubstantiated ‘helium’ incident downwards) has been growing like cancer from the morgue file in which it breeds.
10.
Mystery still surrounds the Brass Eye preview tape, which was despatched to the press in time for the series’ intended transmission on 19/11/96. Victor Lewis Smith reviewed it unfavourably in the Evening Standard, Steven Wells waxed lyrical about it in the NME, whilst The Guardian interviewed Peter Baynham and discussed the show’s content at length (‘Stiff Opposition’, 16/11/96). The tape appeared to be a compilation from the series, featuring ‘Bad AIDS’, ‘Captain Bruges’, ‘Me Oh Myra’, ‘Drug School’ and so on. Although certain material (principally the hoaxes) may have been held back for fear of celebrities blocking the material, it is likely that certain items were presented in a longer edit. We can postulate, perhaps, on whether the Peter Tatchell interview was unbleeped, or whether ‘Sutcliffe’ was present in its entirety (perhaps providing the basis for The Guardian’s screen-grabs). More to the point, where are all these tapes now? And why are Morris fans (particularly those on the Internet) so uninterested in trying to track them down?
11.
Brass Eye’s opening title sequence features clips that never made it to the series. Whether these sections were snipped due to the points raised above we can only ponder…
In cool interviewer mode, Morris reacts incredulously to his
charge before blowing his top and shouting apparently at the top of
his voice. These quick title shots do not however reveal who is
causing Morris to blow his top. Sadly.
Morris and an unidentified man (Kevin Eldon?) run along what appears to be the NFT before scuffling for the camera, brandishing something that looks suspiciously like a pink version of ‘cake’. Morris appears to be in his ‘David Jatt’ interviewer role…
Morris, still in Jatt mode, appears to attend some sort of political gathering. John Major is
making a speech at the same rally. John Howard is also visible, both in the Morris shot and
standing in a foyer with a ladyfriend. The meeting appears to be narcotically bound (the phrase
‘Tackling Drugs Together’ can just about be made out) so these scenes, along with the pink ‘cake’
shots must be out-takes from the ‘Drugs’
show.
THE BRASS EYE TRAILER
Titles graphics
VO Issues pumped till they bleed…
Scene from ‘Bad Aids’ sketch
MORRIS Get away from me, get away from me…
Titles graphics
VO Are drugs out of control?
Scene from ‘Drugs’ show:
MORRIS I’ll give you thirty quid for one clarky cap…
Titles graphics
VO Have law and order broken down?
Scene from borstal sketch:
MORRIS Lick yourself off my shoe…
Titles graphics
VO Do animal rights matter?
Scene from ‘Animals’ show:
MORRIS These two goats are gonna box each other’s heads in next weekend and there’s nothing the law can do about it!
Titles graphics
VO Can technology deliver?
Clip of Hugh Dennis as ‘Dr Balb Kubrox’:
DENNIS Look at this little guy. He’s using my gynasium womb implant to exercise so his mom loses weight!
Preview graphic
VO Brass Eye rips the guts out of issues and reads them like tea leaves. Next Tuesday, ten thirty-five, on Four.
12.
Brass Eye will, apparently, never be released on video. This is due to a lot of legal Live Aid-style faffing about which ensured that the series got made in the first place. Neither has it yet been repeated despite vague promises to that effect from Channel 4. One would have hoped that, with Grade out of the picture, a revised edit of the series-as-intended would be shown.13. An interesting video of Brass Eye taken directly from TalkBack’s masters pretty much features the episodes as transmitted, with a few slight differences:
(a) It features the uncensored version of the ‘Judy Luton’ interview from the ‘Sex’ show, with Morris saying ‘Twelve?’ rather than ‘Twirly’.
(b) There is about 15 seconds of blank screen between the ‘End Of Part One’ sting in Show 6 and the fake news report about Noel Edmonds shooting Clive Anderson; this was cut right down for transmission, presumably at the request of Channel 4. (The brilliant flash-shot of the ‘4’ news logo with the sound of someone knocking a microphone is still present in this version.)
(c) Many shows feature extended ‘police siren’ stings in and out of ad breaks, and at the close of the show. The one featuring Peter Stringfellow (at the close of the ‘Sex’ show Part 1) goes on for ages and is particularly amusing. Most of these were truncated and faded out for transmission.
The count-in clocks are also interesting, denoting as they do that each programme comes from a separate source. The dates given on these count-ins are the 1997 transmission dates, except for the ‘Science’ show which is dated 6/11/96 (just under two weeks before the series was due to launch). Rather oddly, however, the Roman numeral at the end of ‘Science’ is, in common with the other five shows, still given as 1997.
Here’s
us with our clocks out…
Note that ‘Sex’ was worked on at a different editing suite to the other shows, suggesting perhaps that The Edit Works were a bit worried about the content.
The ‘Moral Decline’ show is captioned ‘Demo 2’. ‘Demo 1’ presumably featured Sutcliffe, Christ’s cock and everything else.
[NOTE: Brass Eye has apparently been re-edited into three ‘specials’ and will be transmitted with ‘Sutcliffe’ intact later in the year. That's one story anyway. Others suggest that it's going out in full...]
The Brass Eye video. It does not exist.
