| Choices |
Paul Jackson makes this face while talking to people, but it's on the radio so it's okay.
In Forgetfulness-Mode With...
10am R4
Paul Jackson returns with a fourth series of badly-researched live interviews with the cream of the BBC's comedy talent. During the next ten weeks, we can expect wisdom and, best of all, wit from the likes of Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jon Culshaw, Ronni Ancona, James Dreyfus, Brian Perkins, Jon Culshaw, Kris Akabusi, Brian Jacks, Arthur Lowe and Mitch Benn. However, for this first programme, he meets up with Peter Richardson of The Comic Strip and Stella Street fame, and keeps trying to make out that he was in The Young Ones, when he obviously wasn't.
I Quite Like Funny Things
12.00pm R4
New series of the series in which comedy performers or Ross Noble choose their favourite comedy clips, but end up recording their dull reactions to worn-out bits of tape when producer Danny Wallace can only track down the Woody Allen Ant routine, Bill Hicks not liking Republicans, Billy Connolly saying willy, and the bit where Terry Jones says He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy. This week's guest is Nick Faldo.
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BBC Radio 1
7.00
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AM Emma B
The woman who can't spell her own surname shows her male counterparts that female DJs can be equally useless.
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10.00
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Jo Whiley
Today, Jo discovers a Smiths album leaning against a Marshall stack in the live lounge, and asks who on earth they could be. Plus a Nirvana record, bookended by a haze of hyperbolic reminiscence.
1.00
PM
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Mark Radcliffe
Featuring poetry with Ian MacMillan, an in-depth 15 minute discussion about Raymond Carver short stories, some rare Buzzcocks recordings, and Lard's Fall tour diary. Only joking - instead two hours of Artful Dodger collaborations separated by amusing but empty bursts of shouting.
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3.00
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Chris Moyles.
Jon Culshaw does a funny phone call to Tom Baker as Tom Baker.
Again.
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6.00
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Dave Pearce
The Ministry Of Sound's answer to the drivetime host on Chiltern FM.
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8.00
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Evening Session
Verity Sharp unearths lost material from a new Salif Keita box set, plus sessions from The Balanescu Quartet and John Zorn.
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John Peel
Don't privatise us, we are distinctive, oh yes we are.
| 12.00
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Mary Ann Hobbs: The Breezeblock
Tonight, not even Mary Ann's incontinence jeans are a match for her excitement in introducing some recent lo-fi recordings of the dark Chris Morris testing his microphone levels in the dark.
| 4.00 AM
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Catch Me On Virgin's Weekend Overnights In A Month's Time
Chris someone.
BBC Radio 2
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6.00
AM
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Sarah Kennedy
with The Dawn Patrol
Featuring at 6.45 a newspaper review without all the death, violence, sex scandals and depressing bits. Also, Sarah plugs her thrilling new novel Stabbed In Both Arms (Pan, �9.99).
| 7.30
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Wake Up To Rogan
Johnny Rogan sits in for Terry, and remembers the funniest death threats he ever got from Morrissey in the early 90s. Plus 38 tracks by The Byrds.
Next week, the ridiculous Johnny Logan sits in.
| 9.30
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Ken Bruce
With a pile of records which has been compiled (alternately) by God and Satan, plus the Pop Master quiz, pitting an A&R man from Sony Music against a woman in Nantwich who's heard of the Beatles. Obviously, she wins.
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Jimmy Young
Today, your questions about loft insulation with loft insulation expert Jennifer Hannigan, and a chance to hear "Walk Right In" by The Chantays for the first time since yesterday morning.
2.00
PM
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Steve Wright
Join Steve and his posse of two for three crazy hours. Today call Steve on 0800 288291 if you've ever been to an Italian restaurant.
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The Man-Ezeke
Sitting in for Johnnie Walker all this week.
| 7.00 | Let Me Take You Down:
The Candy Flip Story
Fellow one-hit wonder John Parr presents the first in a two-part profile of the duo who set the charts alight in 1990 with their cover of Strawberry Fields Forever. Featuring contributions from the band's extended families and Gary Davies.
1: Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed (Part 1).
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8.00 | Music: The Full Story
The first in a two-part documentary looking at the convoluted and often complicated history of music, narrated by George Martin, as it would be.
Part 1: From Cavesongs To Blow Monkeys 40,000 BC - 1987.
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9.00 | Sounds Of The 80s
A puzzled Iggy Pop links some records together that someone else chose.
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9.30 | The News Huddlines
The world's longest-running radio comedy show continues to exist, so that it can remain the world's longest-running radio comedy show.
Repeated on Saturday.
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10.00 | As Sure As Legs Is Legs
A light-hearted celebration on the centenary of legs, underpinned by that ZZ Top riff throughout. Actor Leonard Fenton reads unconvincingly off some pieces of paper, though it's probably because about halfway through, it occurs to him that he's been chosen for this because of his role as Dr. Legg in EastEnders.
10.30
PM | Me, Mark Page
Sitting in for Richard Allinson until someone realises.
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12.00 | Blue Jam
Chris Morris sits in for Janice Long with some whimsy and a gag about cotdeath at 1.10am. Featuring at 1.30, Pause For Thought with a severely monged Rabbi Julia Neuberger.
Repeated tomorrow for the benefit of the Gitsurfers who are a bit "out of it" tonight
3.00
AM | Alex Lester
Burps for three hours to see if anyone notices
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BBC Radio 3
6.00
AM | Morning On 3
with Humphrey Carpenter
News, weather and plenty of opportunities for people to complain to Feedback at the first sign of not playing The Lark Ascending on the hour every hour. Also featuring:
6.24am Copland/Rodeo
Keith Emerson (organ), Greg Lake (guitar), Carl Palmer (percussion).
7.09am Purcell/that thing that was the theme to Bless This House
7.44am Gallagher/Digsy's Dinner
Cecilia Bartoli (mezzo-soprano), Chicago Symphony Orchestra, James Levine.
8.22am Puccini/Nessun Dorma
Robert Williams (tenor), Guy Chambers Sinfonia
9.19am Barber/Adagio for Strings
CBSO, Simon Rattle, Geraldine Halliwell (background patriotic encouragements)
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10.00 | Work In Progress
Playwright David Hare's nearly finished wallpapering his landing.
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10.05 | CD Library
Chris de Souza plays tracks from some CDs, and talks in between them. Like Scott Mills then, but with some sensitive pauses.
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12.00 | Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Parry arr. Quick/Brown: Jerusalem
Royston Hudd (baritone), Christopher Emmett (baritone), June Whitfield (contralto), The Huddliners SO, Peter Moss.
Re-arranged with new topical words to tie in with something Tony Blair said last Friday. Live from a snoozing BBC Radio theatre.
2.00
PM | Ruggiero Ricci
The acclaimed Italian violinist is remembered through archive recordings of all his really fast bits of playing. Featuring all the semiquavers from Pablo de Sarasate's Introduction and Tarantelle, and the most very difficult bits of the cadenza from the Beethoven Concerto in D. As an encore, he runs down the platform of Florence railway station to catch a train which he is late for.
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4.00 |
Composer Of The Week:
Diane Warren
Today, the BBC Concert Orchestra plays an interminable medley of Leann Rimes' How Do I Live and Starship's Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now.
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6.00 | Yes, The Lark Ascending Will Be On In A Minute!
News, weather and travel with Petroc Trelawny.
Also featuring:
6.47 Gallagher/She's Electric
Joanna MacGregor (piano), Jan Garbarek (saxophones).
7.08 Wener/Nice Guy Eddie
(Programmed because someone misread it as Webern.)
Katia and Marielle Labeque (pianos).
7.46 Parker/Changing Rooms Suite
1st movement: A recently-abducted Andy Sheppard (saxophones); Other movements: Andy Sheppard (Bontempi home organ with the flatulent saxophone option in use, no-one will ever notice the difference)
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9.00 | Night Waves
Richard Coles talks to playwright Caryl Churchill about her life and career, Pat Kane looks back at semiotics in British fiction, and film-maker Todd Solondz is interviewed by the short one from Halo James.
Producer Sean McClusky out of JoBoxers
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10.15 | Late Junction
Steve Lamacq spends 85 minutes with The Strokes, and plays some previously unheard footage from 1992 of The Sultans Of Ping FC drinking.
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12.00 | Through The Night
with Donald MacLeod
Featuring:
3.42 AM Morris/Whack My Bonobo:
Angela Gheorghiu (soprano), Roberto Alagna (tenor), D'Angelo (tenor), Montreal SO, Charles Dutoit
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BBC Radio 4
3.35
AM
| Farming Today
Inaccessible agricultural news with Anna Hill.
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6.00 | Today
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9.00 | Desert Island Discs
The evergreen series celebrates its sixtieth birthday with a fresh new interactive element. Today, ring or e-mail the eight records that you think actor Tom Conti should choose.
See panel for details.
Hosted by Sue Lawley.
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9.45 | I Really Do Need An Editor
Michele Hanson's saga of North London family life continues. Part 54: That Just About Tops It. Calamity hits the Goddard household when Poppy unexpectedly runs out of pesto.
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10.00 | Woman's Hour
with Martha Kearney, and guests including Kathy Lette promoting her new novel "At Your Cervix", and Harriet Rodean's hilarious first novel "Spotted Dicks And Chocolate Puddings".
Plus at 10.45, episode six of Thanks George by Jeff Taylor.
Details at 7.45pm.
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11.00 | A Feast Of Pun
It's fifteen years since Radio 4 broadcast "One Mump Or Two" about the disease's centenary. Since then, over 40 billion hours of BBC Radio have been filled with a deluge of suspiciously uninformative anti-matter about particular subject like bins, geraniums, prams, apoplexy and binding. Some feature writer from the Evening Standard or an out-of-work actor narrates a randomly-researched history of the genre, and reaches no conclusions whatsoever.
Producer Alhambra Ramsden
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11.30 | Women In Crouch End
Pippa Woman's four-part comedy about women in Crouch End and the incompetent, tragic men that surround them. Starring Arabella Bumm as Jemima, with Meera Syal, Tracy-Ann Frizzy, Lucy Daughter, and Meera Syal. With Dave Bloke as Dave Sodd and Duncan Bald as Dr. Butcher. 3: Hush Goalie. Diphtheria and Feta are forced by Dave to go to a football match. At gunpoint, probably.
Producer Maria Espedrill
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12.00 | The Sound Of Death
Consumer issues with Trixie Trix and Mark Serious.
1.00
PM | The World Tonight
First with tonight's late news, with Nick Clarke.
Editor Kevin Marsh
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1.30 | Feedback
A heap of complaints regarding the lack of The Lark Ascending during elevenses last Tuesday.
Producer Nick Utechin
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2.00 | The Archers
Spring is in the air for Shula and Tasmin.
Broadcast yesterday
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2.15 | The Afternoon Play: Write About What You Know, Literally
David Haig stars in PR man Piers Peers' comedy-drama about the world of PR. Peter Pears, public relations worker for really quite a long time, finds that he can't publicise something in his personal life that appears to have gone afoot.
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3.00 | The Message
Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five perform the contentious groundbreaking hip-hop anthem. Next week, surviving members of NWA join forces with the blindly vague pundit Stephen Armstrong for Express Yourself.
Producer Lindsay Leonard
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3.30 | Insane In The Brain
Time for another half-hour of madness inside Dr. Raj Persaud's madhouse.
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4.00 | What An Extraordinary Turn-Up For The Books!
First of a new series which details the unlikely happenings of British life. In September 2001, flatmates Dave Gorman and Danny Wallace thought it would be hilariously cheesy to appear on Channel 5's Open House With Gloria Hunniford. Besides, it might have sold some copies of the book before it appears in Bookworld for a quid. Anyway, they thought they came out of it awfully well, deconstructing the chat-show experience (whatever that might mean) and making Hunniford and her studio audience look wonderfully, hopelessly naff, because she wasn't remotely interested or engaged in what they were doing. But, as their audio diary unwittingly reveals, she and her studio audience weren't interested or engaged in them because they weren't interesting or engaging.
Producer Alison Feature
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4.30 | The Collectors
New series for all those involved in the non-Radio 4 world of glass-collecting, while bearing the name of a John Fowles novel, just to be clever. This week, Andy from the Crown And Sceptre, Felixstowe and Jez from the Red Badger, Fulham, discuss carrying techniques. Presented by Karl Howman.
Producer Carl from All Bar One, Cambridge Circus
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5.00 | PM
with the offspring of two veteran journalists.
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6.00 | Six O'Clock News
First with the lunchtime news, with Charlotte Green.
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6.30 | What The Christ Is This Doing On Radio 4?
Roy Hudd and June Whitfield star as that couple who were famous 30 years ago, who are trying to make a comeback. And they sing the theme tune themselves. Marvellous.
Producer Dirk Maggs | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
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7.00 | News
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7.02 | The Archers
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7.15 | Front Row
Endemol's Peter Bazalgette, Channel 4's outgoing controller Michael Jackson and E4's sandwich buyer Steve Berry feature in a discussion about television, and conclude, after comparing The Sopranos with a temporary fault still from BBC2 in 1969, that television is better now. Presented by Mark Lawson.
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7.45 | Thanks George
Jeff Taylor's comedy-drama starring Steve "It's meant to be terrible" Coogan, Doon Mackichan and Rebecca Front, with Kim Wall probably. Today, the teenage daughter is playing her music too loudly.
Broadcast this morning
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8.00 | Any Questions?
Chairman Jonathan Dimbleby, and a panel comprising Angela Eagle, Michael Howard, Simon Hughes and The Independent's Anne McElvoy gather at the Fairfield Hall, Croydon, and wonder if there are any members of the mid-80s signing to Paul Weller's Respond Records lurking somewhere in the half-full audience.
Producer Lisa Jenkinson
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9.00 | The Friday Play:
How We Get A Radio Times Cover Story
Tracy Shaw stars in Len Ellis's infotragemy. Leia, as her name suggests, is a Star Wars fanatic, and finds herself quoting lines from Star Wars at inopportune moments. So do her friends, Hans and Luke. But there are darker elements to the story, which should emerge round about 9.40pm. With a cameo by Dave Prowse for a heavy-handed Darth Vader reference that doesn't really work, if we're being honest.
Leia...........................Tracy Shaw
Luke....................Toby Longworth
Hans...............Kim Wall, probably
Narrator.....................Phill Jupitus
Director Marilyn Imrie
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10.00 | The World Tonight
Yesterday's news today with Isabel Hilton.
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10.45 | A Book At Bedtime
'Mr. Ventham' from The Gitsurfers opens Gabriel Garcia Marquez's 100 Years Of Solitude. 1: Mr. Ventham gets a bit bored, and wanders off when he finds out it contains not one Chris Morris reference.
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11.00 | Joyce Grenfell Is Six Foot Underground
Sarah Alexander, Daisy Donovan, Julia Davis and Gina Yashere star in a self-penned series of playlets, shouting and spoof phone calls to small hardware shops to ask if they've got any skyhooks in stock.
Producer Lucy Armitage
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11.30 | The Best Of Dead Ringers
What on earth would it be like if Anne Robinson replaced Robert Robinson on Brain Of Britain? That's right, aggressive and rude BBC radio. There, you yes you have written a sketch every bit as good as one contributed by the award-winning writing and performing team of Dead Ringers.
Producer Bill Dare. (R)
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12.00 | News
12.30
AM | The Late Book
Stephen Tompkinson attempts to make some sense out of Bret Easton Ellis's Glamorama just after it's been torn up by angry children. (R) | | | | | | | | | | | |
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