Spanners heard of a funny incident during filming for a recent edition of Jonathan Creek. Apparently, Alan Davies was so hungry on set he ordered a hamburger from a nearby fast food outlet. Needless to say, the cast and crew were not amused.
News reaches us that Caroline Aherne smokes fags. Apparently, during recordings for the recent Royle Family Christmas special, Caroline was so keen on fags she could be found regularly smoking fags between takes. Fags, my arse! Maybe she should stop smoking fags.
’Tis the season to be merry, and Spanners is no exception. However, we raised a tentative eyebrow this week at some free publicity material we received through the post. Makes you think, doesn’t it?
People’s genius Al Murray breathes oxygen.
John Cleese was not best pleased the other week. He had arranged a gourmet evening but the chef was drunk so he had to get the food from a nearby French restaurant, but then his car broke down and he hit it with a tree branch and shouted at it. I think he got trifle in the end, by mistake.
Caroline Aherne (her again!) almost certainly did something, yesterday.
Spanners cannot think of any other showbiz news, even though we’re a major listings magazine and presumably have loads of contacts. Why not read the letters page instead? Oh, you already have.
TV HIGHLIGHTS:
Something Which Is Obviously Fantastic (BBC2, 10pm)
Dreary, dated, smug, dated, racist, dated, smug, patronising, smug, dated, disjointed, messy, smug, dated. Next week, I learn adverbs very good. (Preview tapes were unavailable.)
Something That’s Well Overdue A Good Emperor’s New Clothes-Style Slagging (BBC2, 9pm)
A presenter returns with the weekly
television programme about a given subject.
Something Our Media Friends Tell Us We Should Like (Ch4, 11pm)
Unmissable. Actually, preview tapes were unavailable, but that’s the great thing - you don’t have to actually watch
the programme to talk about it excessively in a wine bar the next
day. Booyakashah!
Seinfeld (BBC2, Midnight)
Not a great episode - in fact, it’s the worst thing we’ve ever seen. Certainly not as funny as the classic episode last season where Jerry had a cup of tea. But that’s the great thing about American sitcoms - they don’t actually have to be funny in order to be popular. Or for us
to talk about them excessively in a wine bar the next day. So all
hail to ‘The Pretzel King’ from Season 28. Well worth it
for the scene where Jerry has a cup of tea.
The Royle Family (BBC1, 10pm)
See Telling You Stuff You Already Know In A Beaming Great Typeface on page 76.
Something Worthy (BBC2, 8pm)
The ubiquitous Twatty McBumstead talks to Martin Scorsese
for fucking hours.
EastEnders (BBC1, 8pm)
What we’re actually watching, rather than the Martin
Scorcese interview. (Preview tapes up arse.)
FILM OF THE DAY: Scorcese’s classic People Just Sort Of Standing Around Talking (1979), beginning a season of films by directors with whom we’re on toadying, second-name terms. Followed by Titchmarsh’s Gardener’s World.
Well, that’s all we’ve got time for on Time Out.
Next week , our editor explains that his magazine may be horrendous, but at least it’s not as bad as Heat.
Plus: Paul Whitehouse’s London (‘It’s brilliant!’).
Available next week, for the price of only £2.20. You will buy it, although you’ll never be sure quite why.
