THE
MADCAP
RETURNS

"Alone in the clouds all blue / Lying on an eiderdown / Yippee, dee dum di dah, ever so high..."
That song off of side one of Piper At The Gates Of Dawn, 1967

It's been nigh on 20 years now since the irrepresible madcap Syd Barrett last granted an interview with the press.  His self-imposed exile from the world has yielded many rumours and stories - stories which have never been cleared up. But our pop journalist Nyani Nyani Nyahh tracked down the Crazy Diamond himself and acquired this exclusive interview with the man they called 'Syd', to ask the question "So what exactly has Syd Barrett been doing all these years?"

So what exactly have you been doing all these years, Syd?
Well, y'know, this and that.  Who wants to know anyway?

Well, there are thousands of people out there who really want to know what happened to you.  Why you disappeared from the scene.
Got bored with it to be honest.

You're something of a recluse these days.  You no longer make music, you still live with your mother and you paint.
Pardon?

That's what I found in the morgue file.  Under 'Barrett'.
Bloody hell - they got that wrong for a start.  No, well, for a start my mother died a good couple of years ago now.  And I'd hardly call myself a recluse either.  I often pop out for a newspaper wearing those jeans.  Has the denim look come back yet?

Not really.
Well in that case, neither am I!

So what have you been up to?  There's a story circulating that you're so mad that you paint canvases and then burn them.
And?

Well, that's a bit mad isn't it?
Well, I have a small house.  There's only so much room in here at the best of times, what with the home studio taking up most available working surfaces.

Home studio?
Yes.  Problem with that?  Been laying down...ah, thank you, dear.

Would either of you like some cake to go with it?

Cheers, love.  Wait till you taste her Battenburg.  It's positively heavenly.

Who is that?
The missus.  Obviously.  Who d'yer think it was?

Well, I...  You were talking about the home studio?
Yeah, there's probably a couple of albums worth by now.

And this is solo stuff?  Demos?  Acoustic? Mad random drawn-out strumblings with whimsical wordplay and overdubbed motorbike noises?
Yeah, yeah, there's one or two of them - for the fans, y'know. But there's the Royal Philharmonic bits too - we did a session down in Maida Vale recently.  Great night.  They can really put it away, that lot.  Wouldn't think it of them, really.

You gonna be long, Rog?  We need your vocal for the next track.

Be right there, Donny.

Who was that?
Christ, how long have you been it this game, mate?  That was the Captain!

Beefheart?!
No!  Fucking Birdseye !  What do you reckon?

But he's supposed to be in the Mojave Desert.
Nahh, he jacked all that in.  Moved to Watford two years back.  He commutes back and forth here.  We're working on a sort of double comeback.  Brian Wilson's over here too - he's producing.

A collaboration LP?
Well, that was the idea.  But we're probably gonna go straight for the TV series now.  Sort of a showcase thing for young talent.  Have you heard that Eminem?  He's quite good.  Might have him on.  Mind you, he'll have to curb the effing and jeffing a bit.

Dad, will you sign my homework book?

Aye, give it here.

Syd Barrett, it's been an honour to speak to you.  As a journalist I no longer know what to think anymore and will shortly get myself a nice job in the service sector.  So nice of you to break your silence and talk to the press after all these years.
No worries.  Was there anything else?

Uh, yeah, there's some letters for you out here.
Fine, just slide them under the door.  Don't look me directly in the eye or I'll disappear.  Where am I?  (howls like a wolf, goes off and sleeps in a barrel, etc)

Phew, eh readers?