Would-Be Writers Crib Popular News-Spoof Website In Desperate Bid For A Break
DOWNTOWN LONDON — A group of rather annoying would-be comedy writers yesterday laughed off suggestions that their fantastic new spoof news website was in any way plagurised from the Award-Winning American news site THE ONION. "This is totally proposterous", added Matt Hendon, sitting at his keyboard with a rather pale expression. "Shit", he continued. There followed three "Fuck"s and what sounded like a "bastard", though this has not yet been confirmed.
Media Man Sits In Office Looking No Further Than What's In His Yahoo In-Box Of A Morning
SOHO — A bald man with glasses and a propensity for spinning all of the media's foibles as good and necessary things has been reported as sitting in his office getting excited about the possibilities of Internet Comedy. "Spoof News is where it's at", he told our reporter between mouthfuls of coffee and ridiculous lies. Luckily there are no shortage of twenty-something fuckwits with a fawning peer group, a laptop and a cacheful of downloaded Real Audio On The Hours to rip off. As long as they can make it a bit dark and short and put some swearing in it for people with the attention span of a dead pig then it's a fackin' winner!"
We Need Heroes Says Bloke With No Opinions
SOUTH LONDON — Yet another person has failed to realise that heaping desperate praise onto something that's mediocre at best within a climate of pure rubbish only serves to lower the expectations of the public as a whole. Matt Brockley, 22, is the 317th person to make this mistake this week. The phrase "Genius, surely?" will shortly be awarded a commission with E4.
Bunch Of Indignant Net Idiots Suddenly Realise What We're Up To With This Parody
BRITAIN — At least forty-seven readers of the SOTCAA Christmas book got annoyed today as they managed to just about get through to the third story of this piss-take and realised, with some irritation, that they couldn't now go on the forum and moan about what they thought was a genuinely bad parody of The Onion rather than an in-character affair. So instead they'll moan about the fucking typeface or something.
Girl Says No To Criticism
MANCHESTER — a girl in her second year at university has deplored the notion that criticism is a viable means of questioning something bad. Speaking from her arse in the university's internet recourses room, Ellie Thurston made a plea for a greater public understanding of her boyfriend's comedy writing career path. "Why criticise? It doesn't do any good! Just leave it.", she announced while tuning her acoustic guitar and not wearing shoes. Her campaign was immediately backed by her boyfriend, her boyfriend's mate whose friend's cousin works at Bazal, and Nev Fountain who added "Surely the only good critique is one which says absolutely nothing whatsoever and allows people with no talent to learn their craft while sneering". When asked whether this might be perceived as some kind of latent fascism, they all shook their heads slowly, looked at us as if we were the cunts, then went off and wrote yet another fucking British version of The Onion.
