Hello! Well, what can we say? Welcome to another one of those updates that we do. We've been travelling the length and breadth of this side of London and parts of Edinburgh to bring you the hottest comedy gossip currently doing the rounds in the wine bars and toilets!! Leaving no stone unturned, we're been hanging with the best of them, scraping away at the facade to uncover the whispers, the scandals, the rumours and the hottest press releases!!

So, hang on to your comedy hats. Here we bally well go!!!

Fresh from his mega-success with BBC2's Are You Dave Gorman, Dave Gorman is currently working on some secret new projects which he hopes will be very funny. 'It's still at concept stage at the moment', says our Dave, 'basically I have to show my ideas to the BBC and then they'll make the decision on whether we can take it further'.  Wow - sounds like one to watch out for!!  In fact if it's anything like the Award-Winning Are You Dave Gorman' then there'll be plenty to watch out for.
	But what news of diminutive chicken-tamer Ross Noble who, amazingly, failed to get a Perrier nomination last year. Well he's back to doing exactly what he does so well. Playing to packed-out crowds of joyous fans at gigs and venues everywhere. 'It's a bit of a pity that I didn't win', Noble told himself in the mirror yesterday. 'But you can't win them all. Or indeed very many. If any. No, none, obviously. Shit.' Noble is currently working on a screenplay which he hopes one day to turn into a film.
News also from the surreal twin worlds of The Mighty Boosh (who scooped the Australian eqivilent of a Perrier two years ago). Sad mad (and dangerous to know) Julian Barratt was recently spotted in a Ladbroke Grove wine bar eating a breadstick and looking slightly pensive. Could there perhaps be wedding bells in the air? We don't doubt it!!!
	Life is full of surprises, none more so than for crazy techno-pop double-act Noble & Silver who recently returned to their Highgate flat to discover that somebody had left two identical copies of the Yellow Pages on their doorstep!!! 'It was really weird', Silver told us, 'I think the problem is that our flat actually used to be two separate addresses - 27a and 27b - but these were knocked into one in about 1996 I think. Maybe I should give them a call and rectify it'. Noble was slightly more reticent: 'I wouldn't bother', he grinned!!
Johnny Vegas has treated himself to a brand new pair of shoes. 'They are slightly better than my other pair', The fat chancer told us yesterday, 'they don't rub against the heel so much and have padded soles.' Johnny can currently be seen on the telly, in the gaps between proper programmes. Good luck, Johnny!
	Rumours of a romantic liaison between Theakstonite gel-boy Jon Holmes and sultry Jaaaaam star Julia Davis were laughed off yesterday by me and Hen and our friend Kiki who's staying with us over the weekend. We had fish fingers and chips for dinner. Then we went to the beach with Dad. It was nice.

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